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10 Nov 2006
How do I explian it.......
Hi<br>I 'came out' to my dad about 7 and a half weeks ago and at first he seemed to be okay with it now all of a sudden he is totally freaking out.......I have no idea how to make him understand whats its like for me. He says he doesnt want me to make a mistake and i dont know how to get him to understand<br>My dad is gay so I kinda thought that he would sorta understand even though I know being gay and being transgender is two different things!<br>he is freaking out and he is getting all complex and to me it feels like he is being controlling yet he says he is just being super practical and I dont know what to do, I have started binding and some people have started reffering to me in the masculine yet my dad says that its moving to fast (for him) and I DONT want to put my life on hold just coz my dad is freaking!<br>Can you help????
<br>Joshua, <br><br>What I want you to keep in mind are: you might be able to tell me you know about you, being trans, "different" or feeling like a boy for a very long time, or since you can remember, but your dad only have this confirmation for the last 7 and 1/2 weeks. It is a lot of information to digest for any person, and even more for parents. <br><br>He being gay doesn't automatically count for an "easy ride" as like with the rest of people gays and lesbians are as misinformed or ignorant about transgenderism as anybody else. I do not want to sound horrible here, that is unfortunately the truth. They don't know automatically more just because they are gay. Remember that is about sexual orientation and transgenderism is about gender identity. To explain that even more: a FTM person can for example be gay, or a MTF can be lesbian.<br><br>You need to be the person informing your dad with as much as possible information about transgenderism. "Knowledge is power" once he knows more, and are content that you are not just going through a phase, he will be able to make peace with it, and most possible even support you.<br><br>You can feel welcome to let your dad contact me; I will gladly correspond or meet with him. There will also be a very good workshop in Cape Town on the 18th of November with the theme: "Gender Diversity Awareness" Anybody can contact me about that for more information.<br><br>Alternatively you can ask your dad to have a look at the following article: http://www.dcchildrens.com/dcchildrens/about/subclinical/subneuroscience/subgender/guide.aspx
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