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29 Jul 2006

RE : CONFUSSED WIFE .......
CW, I pasted your last reply here again ..........

Subject: RE: Re Tina
Posted by: CW
Message:
Hi

I thought about this for a very long time,i don`t really want to get divorced,but what is the alternative??Living with something you can`t trust,because of a lack of honesty and wondering all the time about whats he thinking?
I don`t know?Now would be the best time to get out,because my boy is only one,later he will be more aware of things,and will be more diificult for him to adapt.
And i don`t think it`s just a "hunch".The stuff that i found bfore we got married was not my imagination!I found books with pictures in and one like a journal,about what he still has to do to became a women.He wanted to go to the UK and get some medication!And a Carlicense he made and lamanated with a foto of him with long dark hair!WHen i confronted him he cried and he said,it was long ago and confused about stuff and so onIt was 3 years before we met (dated on some of the papers).A few months back i was cleaning up and saw some papers about a boy who dressed like a women and are seduced by older men.(Story`s)
A few weeks ago he got a letter with a farmasutical company`s adress on the back,he did not want to open it in front of me,and when i ask him what it was he said junk mail!Why would they send him junkmail??
Anyway i`m very suspicious.And my intuision says where there is a smoke there`s a fire!


Date: 27/7/2006

CW, the first thing you have to realise is that just maybe your husband LOVES you, finds comfort with you and wants to be with you FOR EVER.

From what you have described, it is impossible to give you a clear answer or advise. This could be disasterous!!!!

Now, confrontation will lead to denial on his part, so what are you going to do?

You said before you dont want professional counsiling, yet you are desperate for it by coming back here hoping to find guidance. PLEASE consider and GO for counsiling, PLEASE.

Your husband's destiny is in YOUR HANDS, believe it or not, your actions can distroy him, force him to suicide even. This is a very complex situation and YOU are the key to it's outcome.

You can take the easy route, divorce and get out or you can first find the TRUTH. Professional cousiling will HELP you achieve that.

There is nothing sinister or wrong in cousiling, it will help you find the truth, and then make the right choices.

If your husband, and I say IF, has gender identity disorder it DOESNT mean he doesnt love you, is using you and would want OUT at a later stage. We can all sit here and drum up various senarios but in the end HIS input will be required. TO get that, he would need to be open and honest and for him to do that, he DOES NOT need confrontation, BUT UNDERSTANDING.

It is up to YOU, in which city do you live, so that I can give you a contact for a professional counsillor.

PLEASE DO THE RIGHT THING not only for your sake, but for him and that of your child. PLEASE.




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Expert
Transgender advisor
transgender advisor

01 Jan 0001

CW, I understand it can't be too easy living in a small town - not only are yuo remoted from some "propper"help or threpists, unless there is somebody in your town, it still does not necesarry cater for a choice, but also this feeling of everybody knows everybody. You can also try to enlist as a member on a fairly new SA site, called transpartner. you can find it at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/transpartner/

If you are on medical aid, they will usually cover consultation sessions at a therapist or psychologist.

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