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22 Oct 2009

clit, orgasm and more...
Hi doc, i have a problem and really want help. Im 19 and have been sleeping with my BF for 8 months now, we have sex about everyday except on saturday and sunday, and iv never reached orgasm, i dont know why, everyone says i should try stimulate myself but im scared i hurt myself ect. is this normal? he does go down on me and uses his hands all the time but nothing, my clit is VERY sensitive i cant keep still when he has contact with it its almost TOO sensitive, and my clit often gets swollen and irritated. why is this happening????
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Expert
Sexologist
Sexologist

01 Jan 0001

Dear Girl,

I firstly need to agree with those who are recommending that you first learn to stimulate yourself to orgasm. You will not hurt yourself. If anything you are in a better position whilst stimulating yourself to regulate the intensity, location and focus of stimulation in response to the signals your own body is giving you.

Each women is different and find that different intensities, localities on and around the clitoris and focus of stimulation is more or less stimulating and what type intensifies senation to orgasm.

Onse you have mastered self stimulation, you are in a much better position to guide and direct your bf to stimulate you in the way that works best for you.

The reason your clit may be getting swollen and stimulated is the extended and possibly anxious stimulation on the part of your boyfriend and your own loss of lubrication as you become tense and anxious about trying to orgasm.
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