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18 Aug 2010

It is ok to feel like this?
I am a married woman of 33 yrs, recently i''ve been having some serious marital problems with hubby. recently i have been sleeping with my pyjamas on, and when he forces himself on me i become so wet and enjoy the sex so much even though i pretend like i am not enjoying. Is this normal?????
Sometimes when i am here at work i just wish i can just go home and have a quickie with him, i enjoy him so much, but i hate his attitude.
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Expert
Sexologist
Sexologist

01 Jan 0001

Lerato, describe genital lubrication ('wet') which may or may not be a sign of being 'turned on' (women lubricate in response to many sexual stimuli many which they subjectively report as not enjoyable - this then can be seen as a reflex response and not necessarily indicating enjoyment). However, you ALSO say that you enjoy the sex, in which case it sounds like you have an erotic attachment to that kind of behaviour - which is not necessarily a problem. The problem as I see it may be that he doesn't know that you are just pretending to not like it. So if he really thinks it's okay to do this against your will, what happens if a day comes when you don't feel like it and don't enjoy it? He won't understand your different reaction and you are likely to feel violated/abused.

Some women do find the idea/fantasy of being dominated in this way very arousing and that's fine as long as they can ensure the rules of that domination. My main concern in your case is that your husband isn't part of the pretense; for him he appears to just be doing what he want irrespective of your 'protests'.

Perhaps you could make this more explicit/open with him and tell him that you are happy to play this role play, but that it is a role play. Find a way that you can communicate to him if it really is not okay so that you can find a safe way to stop it if you need to.

Claire - SASHA
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
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