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29 Jun 2010

Low Sex drive
Please please i need some advise. I am well I think happily married with a man with high sex drive. Now I also love sex..........BUT........I am never in the mood. My problem is that i stay too tired. I can plan the morning on my way to work what am i gonna do tonight, even when i get home, plan how i am gonna show my man.............But as soon as i put my head down on the pillow, i am gone. We often fight about this sex issue, coz he feels i don''t want to give him. But i really want to give him. Also the our other problem is the baby. Well she is 3 yrs old and WOULD NOT go to bed without us. Especially now that it''s winter....... Or sometimes she''ll fall asleep than we put her in bed next to her older sister, so she can sleep throughout the night. It helps sometimes, but most of the nights, she ll come to us during the night. But even is she''s sleeping by us or somewhere else, i am still the problem. I sleep my life away and my husband is really " Dik" of it. I need to drink sometime to stay awake and also something for the sex drive. Please any advise would be appreciated. Coz it''s just a matter of time before he goes somewhere else. Thanks a mill.
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Expert
Sexologist
Sexologist

01 Jan 0001

This is quite a common difficulty. Libido difficulties are often made worse by tiredness, and women often (but not always) have more difficulties with their libido than men! Furthermore, women often (but not always) tend to take on responsibility for children who are not sleeping etc - this ideally is a shared responsibilty and a problem that you and your husband need to tackle together. The facts are that (1) you have a loss of hunger for sex (common) but are still interested in sex (great to hear and a good sign), (2) the tiredness due to the interruptions you have with your 3yr old mean that you struggle to stay awake long enough to BE sexual with him. Your options are to (a) change the sleeping patterns of your 3 yr old - you need his assistance and support with this, and/or(b) find ways to be sexual at other times when you are less tired, and/or (c) have a baby sitter from time to time to give you couple time so that you two can connect emotionally and physically as a COUPLE and not just parents.

Claire - SASHA
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