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06 Jan 2005

Maagd of nie?
Hi,

Ek en my kerel het "outercource sex". Nog nooit die "real thing" gedoen nie. Nou wil ek net weet of ek nog 'n maagd is of nie?

Dankie.
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Expert
Sexologist
sexy

01 Jan 0001

A virgin is someone who hasn't had sexual intercourse. However, the idea of virginity is an old one. People in ancient Greece and Rome used the term virgin to refer to a woman (or a goddess) who was autonomous, on her own, not owned by any man. It was only later that it came to apply solely to sexual virginity. When the meaning changed, the implication was that remaining a virgin until marriage guaranteed that a woman would uphold the family honor by passing from father to husband like unspoiled goods. Because at that point there was no dependable birth control, it also guaranteed that babies would be born only to married couples.

In your case, doing "everything but" having intercourse and yet feeling confused is normal. You are technically virgins, but you are as emotionally and physically involved as you would be were you having intercourse. Spend some time thinking about these questions: What does your virginity mean to you? To your boyfriend? Is the technicality or terminology important? For what reasons?

I think that as long as your relationship is respectful, mutual, safe, and fulfilling, your technical "virginity" is not that important.
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