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06 Jan 2005

phone sex - another perspective
I've read all the postings on this subject, as well as countless others on the web, and I am now left with only one question:

I've tried it and it didn't succeed. Reason - I felt stupid lying on my bed, staring at my bedroom walls, trying to get myself hot enough to really FEEL the things I'm talking about and listening to. I've never had trouble masturbating, but on that occasion I felt like I need to concentrate so much on saying the right things at the right time that I just couldn't reach an orgasm. I felt like a fake, especially after my man had a roaring orgasm on the other end of the line.

Do I just not have enough imagination? Am I doing it all wrong?
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Expert
Sexologist
sexy

01 Jan 0001

Phone sex is no laughing matter to many couples who, for job, school, military, and/or other reasons, can't be intimate in person. Tele-fooling around can be a relationship-saver, and gives new meaning to the term "hotline." That said, satellite sex, even for partners who frequently partake, is often difficult for even the most adventurous to initiate at first — and often gets easier with practice. This makes sense since sex usually involves at least two people touching each other in some way: hugging, kissing, caressing, inserting, receiving, and so on. Then there's the eye contact, absent during phone sex unless you've gone Jetson with a video cam. Plus most phone use is nonsexual. No wonder you feel shy about pushing your boyfriend's buttons.

If you think about it, though, the two of you have already placed the phone sex call by joking about it, which at least raised the possibility of doing it. Maybe you could stay on that line with something like, "Hey Buttercup, remember our phone sex idea... Well...?" How ever either of you bring it up, it might help to close your eyes and imagine that the other is right there next to you. Turn off the lights, put on some sex music... create an environment that sets the mood, which could even mean getting naked. And while you're both at it, you could also prep for the call by getting in touch with yourself as if you were starting to masturbate. A little telephone foreplay might make it feel more natural to start the sexual connection on the phone because it would really be a continuation of what's already begun.

Now that you're in the mood, here are some words that might ring your boyfriend's bell, and keep him on the line for a long time:


"Operator, I need some assistance."
"What are you wearing... or not wearing?"
"Your voice makes me __________."
"I love when you put your __________ on/in my __________. "
"The next time I see you, I'm going to __________."
"Is that a cell phone in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"
You could also forgo some of the spontaneity by making a phone sex date so that both of you know the general plan, and might think ahead of time about what you can do when you answer or make the call(s).

Also know that phone conversations — especially ones on cell and cordless phones — are not always private. Who hasn't been on the phone when all of a sudden you're part of others' conversations, or they're a part of yours?

Hope these suggestions help. Gotta go now, something's vibrating.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
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