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16 Oct 2009

Sex after marriage
Why is it that a couple living together before marriage always have a great sex life only to loose it after marriage? We lived together for 6 years + the sex was WOW. We couldn' t get enough of each other. Been married 4 mths now + the sex is now almost by the way. We are happily married + love each other to bits but that spark is gone from our sex life. I' m 37 + he is 35. We have heard the same from other couples. Is this the norm? We still have sex but not like it used to be.
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Expert
Sexologist
Sexologist

01 Jan 0001

We know that it common that when a woman feels secure in a long term relationship, her body chemistry alters after between 6mnths & 4 years (quite a range!). These changes result in a lowering of libido, which in turn makes the sexual response a little more difficult to drive & less exciting. I'm not sure why your lasted 6 years - maybe there was still an element of uncertainty about the security of the attachment...? Furthermore, marriage can bring with it assumptions that your partner will always been there and so either less effort with each other is made, stressors/distractions increase. Try to identify why you married, and what this might have changed within you (psychologically speaking). If it relates to increased commitment/security, it is likely that your body has just responded accordingly...tragic cruel joke, isn't it? The challenge now is to try to keep it alive and well by keeping in touch with each other and making sure you continue to invest in the relationship (generall
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