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17 Dec 2002

Stimulating the prostate manually.
Dear Doc,

Good morning

Reading through all the postings since I last visited this site, I get the impression that people use it as a forum to either create contraversial issues, or just fool around. Nontheless, every now and then a real questions pops up, and I'm sure you treasure those moments...

My question is the following:

I'm currently in a monogamist relationship. I'm 33, not married, neither divorced, and have no kids. My friend and I have a healthy sexual relationship, and being open minded regarding sex, we like to expand on excisting routine, and discover new and exciting things.

Such an opportunity came this weekend. My friend, while we were having sex, suggested I stimulate him manually as well as insert a finger into his anus and touch his prostate with my finger. All went well, but I felt lost... For some or other reason, I just could not put my finger on it (excuse the pun... not intended). I know where the prostate is situated at, and I know HOW to stimulate it, but I just could not find his.

To get to the point: Is this normal? Does the location of the prostate differ in every man? While stimulating him, how sure can one be that ur actually stimulating the prostate? Does it have a specific feel to it, like for instance a women's clitoris? Or do I have to go with the flow and make my conclusions by purely watching to see if my lover enjoys what I'm doing.

It would be much appreciated if any man that has experienced the above can elaborate on the subject and maybe give some pointers, likes, and dislikes.

Your help would be much appreciated.

Thank you
Sun Shine.

Answer 1,221 views

01 Jan 0001

The prostate is an organ in the body just below the bladder that produces part of the fluid make-up of semen into the urethra AND is very rich in nerve endings. The prostate also lies very near the wall of the rectum and can be accessed externally through the anus/rectum (hence the prostate exam we have all heard of where a doctor puts his finger into your anus to feel for abnormalities…and absolutely critical exam to have annually for anyone over the age of 40). Many men have also discovered that stimulating the prostate can be a very pleasurable experience…best achieved through rectal penetration (by a finger, sex toy, or the penis of a partner).

Is there a prostate orgasm & what does it feel like? Depends on who you talk to. Some men derive no pleasure whatsoever from being penetrated rectally and even experience pain. (This is usually not a result of prostate stimulation but of the stretching of the anal sphincter…but even so, for these men prostate stimulation is not a pleasurable experience.) Others, however, report having their best climaxes when they're being penetrated rectally and describe the experience as being "just more intense" than the orgasm they might have from masturbating or other sex acts. This is not surprising since the prostate is in contact with the kegel, a muscle that stretches from the base of the penis back towards the anus and is believed to be responsible for the intensity and length of both erection and orgasm.

For more information...

* Anal Pleasure and Health by Dr. Jack Morin (A great book available from

* "Bend Over Boyfriend" - Educational video about anal pleasure for men, in the context of a straight relationship.

My Tips:
* It's common to feel the urge to have a bowel movement during anal play. You might need to go to the bathroom after penetration.
* Thicker lubes like Slippery Stuff Gel, Astroglide and Maximus work best because they provide a cushion for the delicate anal tissues.
* Use plain condoms, as flavored ones have been known to cause burning, if you are going to insert anything into his anus (e.g. toys, strap on dildo's), or use gloves if you are doing finger play.
* Some people like to use an enema before anal sex, even though very little faecal matter is actually stored in the rectum. Others like anal sex just because of the idea of it being "dirty."
* Build up trust with your partner so that you can talk this through and make it a pleasurable, sexy experience.

Good luck

For the most part, prostate stimulation is NOT dangerous if you are careful. If you or your partner are inserting objects too roughly or at the wrong angle into the rectum it is possible to bruise or damage the organ. It should be pointed out, however, that the prostate is susceptible to various infections (all of which are referred to as prostatitis) and cancer. If an individual is experiencing such a condition, the likelihood is that prostate stimulation will cause some discomfort…possibly even severe discomfort. If this is the case you should see your doctor immediately.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
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