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04 Feb 2004

teen impotence
my 18 year old son who is still a virgin told me that he is impotent. he has been able to have erections, but only with his last girlfriend. he said that a number of girls have tried, but they feel as if they have done somehting wrong when they cant get him "excited". Is this common for a teenager? Should i get him medical help?
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Sexologist
sexy

01 Jan 0001

It sounds like performance anxiety, and yes, it is very common with teenagers.It can be difficult and frustrating for men and their partners to cope with erectile dysfunction, especially when the cause is unclear. At this point, it is important to be supportive and understanding of the situation. Erectile difficulties can cause feelings of inadequacy in both men and their partners. Each may internalize the situation, fearing that s/he is the one to blame. Therefore, open and honest communication with one another is an essential ingredient in strengthening the relationship as he work through this situation.

Some men experience erectile dysfunction as a result of physiological factors, including medications that can interfere with sexual response, chronic illness, physical disability, alcoholism, drug use, or injury that impedes blood flow to the erectile tissue. For others, psychological issues, including stress, performance anxiety, or self-esteem, are the source. Your son can visit a medical doctors and have diagnostic tests , the doctor can explore whether the cause may be psychological in nature.

These are also questions that the doctor will ask: Does he get erections...

·during sleep or when he awakes?
·if and when he masturbates?
·while engaging in other behaviors besides intercourse?
If he answers "yes" to any of these questions, then perhaps the act of intercourse is causing anxiety and is the reason for the partial erection. As an exercise, he can engage in activities other than intercourse. When he's intimate, focus on non-genital sensations, such as kissing and cuddling. He can also pleasure by caressing, touching, and stroking one another, having oral sex, or incorporating sex toys into his sex play. If he answers "no" to any of the above questions, perhaps your son's erection issues are due to other psychological factors. In either case, it may be helpful for your son to make an appointment with a therapist.

For more information about erectile dysfunction and therapy, look for Bernie Zilbergeld's book, The New Male Sexuality, as well as Richard Milsten and Julian Slowinski's book, The Sexual Male: Problems and Solutions.


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