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30 Jan 2004

tough love
my wife had her leg,below the knee, removed last year due to a motorcycle accident.......she is finding it difficult to relax when we make love as she feels concious about the situation.I have tried my best to comfort & understand her but it isnt going well at the moment.Does anyone have some help or been in the same situation?
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Expert
Sexologist
sexy

01 Jan 0001

Sexuality is an important physical means of communicating love, commitment, nurturance and intimate appreciation toward a loving partner. It can take many forms -- from an appreciative kiss or momentary hug to sexual intercourse. Sexual contact is motivated by a variety of physical and psychological factors but, for most people, feelings about their physical well-being and appearance play an important role in their sexual lives.

An amputation can affect a person’s sexual life in at least two ways. First, there may be physical limitations or problems in maneuvering that will call for adjustments and understanding by both partners. While rarely overwhelming, these challenges can be frustrating and are best discussed openly so that the needs of both partners are taken into consideration. The thing to remember is that almost any physical limitation can be overcome by two people who are willing to be flexible and attentive to one another’s needs.

Second, to the extent that an amputation affects the way a person feels about their body, psychological feelings -- anxiety, embarrassment, shame -- may affect a person’s level of sexual desire or satisfaction. If these concerns arise, they are best discussed openly with your partner. Partners can help by simply listening and providing support and reassurance. Many amputees are surprised and delighted to learn that their partner’s commitment and love is for their spiritual presence, which remains fully intact after an amputation.

If communication with your partner becomes difficult or blocked, it is very important to seek help. The first step may be to bring this concern to your doctor or to another staff member whom you can trust. They may be able to act as mediator to help clarify any misconceptions that either partner may have. If the problem persists, they may suggest a consultation with a psychologist or minister who can help you overcome problems. While initally difficult, an intervention of this type is much more preferable to months or years of silent worry or resentment.

Call SA Sexual Health Association on 0860 100 262 for a referral to a Sex Therapist in your area.
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