Ask an expert

12 Jul 2010

My wife has lost her libido, sex is still okay, but just okay, and only happens 2/3 times a month, and is very predictable, no forplay, and no adventure, toys have all been thrown away, no masturbation allowed. I am going crazy, as I adore her and get turned on every time I see her, but she has become fridgit, our relationship is still very good, and we are best friends, but she says that its just not important to her anymore, but she will always oblige for me, but I dont want favour quickies, I get turned on by her reaction when she is horny, but cant remember the last time she was.
Answer 386 views

01 Jan 0001

Dear Desperate Dan,

I can tell you that what you describe is not uncommon at all, especially in long term relationships. Sustaining an active sexual relationship is normatively more and more of a challenge as couples grow familiar with each other, as their family grows and children come on board, as life stressors impact on them, as the relationship itself faces challenges along the way, as they grow older and their bodies change and as their physical and mental health undergoes challenges along the way.

It is not possible to tell or predict from what you described as to what the contributing factors are to the changes you are experiencing in your sexual relationship with your wife.

I would strongly recommend as a couple you consider seeing a sex tharpist who couls assist you as a couple explore the factors and help you as a couple navigate and explore and improved and more satisying sexual connection again.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
Voting Booth
Have you entered our Health of the Nation survey?
Please select an option Oops! Something went wrong, please try again later.
32% - 9472 votes
68% - 20295 votes