Ask an expert
Question

30 May 2011

13 year old daughter - please help
I month ago we found out that my 13 year old daughter had a boyfriend she was hiding from us....we''re a very open family and were very disappointed...we took her phone away and she asked for us to change her number as she didn''t know how to get this guy off her back as he was harassing her...which we did, she built up the trust and last night we find that it hasn''t ended and it''s far worse than what we expected.

When we drop her at youth on a Friday, her boyfriends parents go fetch her and she goes back to their house.....where i''m horrified to say she''s been having oral sex with this guy...i''m absolutely devastated and don''t know what to do.

She says she can''t control herself (her sexual urges) and needs help...where do i take her??? What do i do??

I''m at a point where i want to put her in an all girls boarding school.....

If we charge this guy with Stat rape...everyone will know...how do we save our family from the ridicule and embarrassment
Answer 467 views
Expert
Teen expert
Teen expert

01 Jan 0001

Hi Mandy,

I would suggest you go with your daughter to see a psychologist - one that specialises in adolescents. This will provide a safe space for her to discuss her feelings and make sense of how to integrate her sexual feelings in a healthy way. Many young people struggle to control sexual urges, but for their own safety and at times healthy development it is important for them to feel in control of their behaviour and their bodies.

I would also like to point out that if the boy she has been sexually active with is also under the age of 16 years, your daughter could face a charge of Statutory Rape from his parents. It is often not realised that the law works both ways regardless of gender.

Best wishes
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.