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06 Apr 2006

Boy
My boy is 15 years old. He is discovering his body now. I am a little concerned about the following. I don;t know ho to handle this. I've discovered some nude girl pictures on his PC, he is always busy on his PC and Cellphone. He is in Grade 9 and I try to tell him that his schoolwork is a priority now, and that he must focus on this for his future. Do I take the PC and Cellphone away or what do you do. He was always a quite kid an introvert never done silly things but it feels to me if I can't handle him now? Any suggestions will be helpful please.

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Expert
Teen expert
teen expert

01 Jan 0001

Hi there,

as you have described your son is at an age where he is exploring his sexuality and looking at pictures is part of that process.

You need to ensure that the way in which you approach this does not make him feel as if his emerging sexuality is wrong. If you take things away this is exactly what he will think. Also he will be aware that you have been looking at things he would consider private, and this can damage the trust between you for a very long time.

You need to make a judgement call about the type of pictures he is looking at - if they are very explicit and what would be considered "hardcore" pornography you may need to speak about it to him.

What is important is that you maintain an open door for him to ask questions about things, and unless he is doing anything that you feel is outside the boundaries then you may not actually have to do anything.

What you describe are very normal actions of someone who is exploring their sexuality and the main things you may need to do are do nothing, and respect his privacy - whilst he is still a minor and you child he does still have a right to privacy.
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