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03 Nov 2006

Crazy teenagers??? or is it just me???
Hi!!! I'm a single mom with two teens (girl, 15 and boy 13) My daughter lives with me and my son with his dad! My son is an "easy kid" with no hang-ups!! The only problem is that he never wants to know anything about his dad doing something wrong, and always burst out into tears when he over hear something bad about his dad! My daughther on the other hand....Mmmmm....She has all this mood swings! Blame me for everything that goes wrong in her life, and we have huge fights when I refuse to give in to her demands!! She always threatens me with suicide and according to my ex this is all my fault 'cos I'm way to "soft" with my kids!!! Me on the other hand blame him being way to "harsh" with them. They don't respect him, they are afraid of him!!! I'm really tired to always keep quiet and just accept what comes to my side!!! Any advice please!!!!
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Expert
Teen expert
teen expert

01 Jan 0001

It sounds as if your children are battling with the clear diffrences of opinion between you and their father and that this is distressing them. It is really important that parents differences do not affect the relationships with the children, and that a real effort is made by both parents to not "put the other parent down" in front of the children.

If at all possible I would recommend some form of mediation or family therapy, as even though they live with different parents, if they receive a consistent approach from mum and dad they are likely to feel a whole lot more secure.

If your daughter threatens suicide then take it seriously and arrange a psychiatric assessment - if she is bluffing you, this will soon become apparent. If your son is not causing you problems other than getting upset if you say something bad about his dad, then dont say it in front of him. He will and is learning about his father and others in how he experiences them, there is no benefit in giving him your opinion regarding his dad - with the best will in the world you are both too biased to give an objective opinion about him.

As a parent you do have a right to make decisons about how you parent your children and should feel able to go ahead with this without feeling criticised; but do your best to keep your feelings about their father separate.

Best wishes
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