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05 Jul 2005

Cutting: my new best friend
Hi there
I need anyone who is willing to give me advice..it really will be appreciated...
Here is my problem..a year ago...i managed to get rid of a really bad habit i had...which was cutting myself....back then i used to do it outa anger and hatred because i had caused my friends pain..but thats not the problem...now its back but its worse.
a week ago i got back together with my boyfriend who hurt me over another girl...it was really tough but now we're back together...but now my cutting has come back...he just made me feel as if i wasnt good enuf...we dated for 2yrs and after all that he had to set his eyes on another girl?it was really hard...but anywy we back together now...but ever since we split like 2months ago..i have started cutting again...more than i used to and worse then i used to...he found out about it and has asked me to stop..but i cant...it makes me forget about how misreble and angry i am and about all the things i dont like about myself...its as if no matter how bad my day is i know that i can still turn to my cutting to take it all away.
Another thing is my brother left for england a few months ago..but i miss him so much that i have become so depressed....i just wanna cry all day and thats what i do...which leads me to cut too.
I want to stop..but cutting makes it so much better...i feel useless...ugly...and worthless...as if i have nuthin to offer.
I dont have a good relationshop with my folks at all they would probably kick me out the house if they found out....so i despretly need all the advice i can get. PLEASE HELP ME
How do iget over this anger and hurt that i am feeling...i want to be a better person..i want to be the girl the guys look at..instead of my boyfriend looking at their girls!!!
PLEASE HELP ME!
thank you
Answer 418 views
Expert
Teen expert
teen expert

01 Jan 0001

Hi there,

many people who cut themselves speak about it making them feel better. While this may be the case temporarily, all the problems, and the way you feel about yourself does not go away as a result. You having a positive view of yourself has to come from within and not be dependent on how other people are or what they do or dont say. With the best will in the world people let us down, and it is at those times that we need our inner resources to help us cope.

I strongly suggest you make arrangements to see a Clinical Psychologist. I know you dont want to speak to your parents about the cutting, but you could at least let them know how depressed you feel, and that that is why you want to see a psychologist. Alternatively you could go and see your family doctor and ask for a referral via the state health system if you do not have the financial support of your family to see someone privately.

It sounds like you are having a really tough time, but it is not your fault so attacking yourself is never going to be the solution. It will take time but you need to begin to locate all the things about you that are positive from your perspective.

Do take care, and if you need someone to talk to in the mean time you can contact childline on their toll-free number 08000 55555 or at www.childline.org.za

Best wishes
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