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18 Apr 2006

Dope and Teenager
Hi there
My teenager is now 16yrs. Since I remarried 4yrs ago he has been a problem child. Recently found out that he is doing dope as well. School has now expelled him. At the moment he is at home doing nothing. No longer wants to go to school. Does not know what he wants in life. He simply refuses to obey any rules. Always tension between husband and son. I feel as if i sometimes have to choose between the two of them. He does not talk to me. I have actually gotten to the point where i think tough love is now my only hope. But then i dont want him to think that i have given up hope. Friends he is involved in not good at all. Drug junkies the lot of them. His father does not play a role in his life. He has so much anger and hatred inside of him. I no longer know what to do. But in a way i feel like i havent really done anything to help him deal with his situation. How can i help my son if he is not willing to talk to me.

Please advise me what to do.

Thanking you
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Expert
Teen expert
teen expert

01 Jan 0001

As a matter of urgency you need to seek out professional help for your son.

If he is not willing to speak to you, you need to find someone who he will talk to. If he will not go to see a psychologist or a drugs counsellor, you may need to consider in-patient treatment at an adolescent unit for him.

You also need to ensure you do not see him as "the problem" - why is he unhappy at home? how does he get on with your partner? did you discuss marrying and moving in with your partner with him, or just present it to him without discussion - all of these things lead to anger and rage in young people. It is also highly likely that he feels angry and abandoned by his father, and although you disapprove of his peer group, they may be the only people he feels close to right now.

I suggest if you do not know of a psychologist who specialises in young people to go and discuss this with your GP, but it is very important that you find a way to communicate soon before further damage is done to your relationship with him.
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