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Question

21 Jul 2005

Fear...
My entire life seems to all be controlled by fear. Fear is what makes me not approach beautiful girls. Fear is what is keeping me from getting the girl I want. Fear puts bad thoughts into my head, makes me believe that people are always thinking negatively about me. I can think of what my life would be like without fear. Better. My question is, how do I eliminate fear. I know there has to be a way to do so. I need this to be happy. By happy, i mean becoming more of a ladies type of guy. I have the looks , just not the confidence or the skill. Im thinking about not even going to prom because I don't think that I will have a date. I cant read girls at all, wish I could. I never know what they think of me, which is why I believe that they are thinking negatively of me. I need help with girls badly. It affects my whole life, and makes me unhappy. So im usually depressed a whole lot. I just dont understand. The more I feel confused and left out, the more im thinking of going to join the army. I've been thinking about the army a whole lot lately. When my parents piss me off I think about it a lot. One of these days I feel that they are just going to push me over the edge and im gonna go ahead and go away and join. I really need help if thats possible.
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Expert
Teen expert
teen expert

01 Jan 0001

Hi there,

help with this is very possible. The fear you speak of is essentially a lack of self-confidence, and you feel this particularly in relation to girls. Feeling confident is not about what you say to others, but rather what you think and feel about yourself. It is good to hear that you recognise your physical attractiveness and you can build from there. Rather than just thinking about what can go wrong, begin to think more about how you would like things to turn out. Also give thought to what your other positive attributes are e.g. - sense of humour, good listener etc. You can even ask your friends why they like you to find these things out if you get stuck.

The more positive you feel about yourself the more others will see this and rather than making assumptions about what people think about you, get your message across about who you really are and that is what they will see. We all have to take risks in life and sometimes they don't work out. But fear should never stop you from taking those risks because even if it doesnt work out it doesnt change the good person that you are.

Running away to the army, or anywhere else for that matter will not improve things. If this is how you feel you will feel it wherever you go.

So begin today thinking about what those things are that make you a terrific guy go for it!

Best wishes
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
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