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24 Nov 2005

I'm pregnant - but it's not my boyfriends baby
Hi. I'm eighteen and last year I decided I wanted a baby. (I finished school a year early because I was "older" than those my age.) Anway, I really was very broody. My mom was sixteen when she had me and my dad nineteen so I didn't see why not. I discussed it with my boyfriend (we had already been having sex for two years at the time) and he agreed that if it was what I wanted we could try. We tried for about four months - nothing was working and my boyfriend was getting frustrated. So one day, while waiting for my guy at his house his brother came in. I explained to him all my troubles about the whole baby thing and he said that he would give it a go if I didn't mind. I didn't see why not at the time, I thought it might work and I knew we didn't feel anything for each other so it wasn't really about love - I loved my boyfriend not him. So, six weeks later I took a pregnancy test and to my surprise I was pregnant. My boyfirend was and still is so excited about the baby but deep down I knew it wasn't his baby, his brother doesn't know either - he didn't think our fling had worked and that eventually his brother and I managed to conceive. I have a month left of the pregnancy and I'm really looking forward to having my baby. What should I do - how can I found out who the baby's father is, oh, and should I tell any of them. My boyfriend says he wants to marry me after I have the baby but is it right to marry a man who isn't the rightful father of my soon to be baby girl?
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Expert
Teen expert
teen expert

01 Jan 0001

You have already created a web of lies here and entraping your boyfriend into marrying you when it is not his child would be very unfair of you. For you to also have sex with his brother behind is back is unfeeling, deceitful and will be very destructive within your boyfriend's family. In short, you have done a very very irresponsible thing of which you are now having to bear the consequences. You and his brother are responsible for a deep betrayal of your boyfriend and you should be deeply ashamed of yourself.

The only way of finding out who the father is is to have a paternity test which requires a blood test of the potential fathers and the baby.

The circumstances in which you are bringing this child into the world have been very selfish without any thought for your baby or your boyfriend. Even if this does turn out to be your boyfriends child you have still betrayed him and you will have to work through your emotions in this regard.

You are about to become a mother - its time to wake up, grow up and take responsibility for your actions.
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