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10 Jul 2005

my gay friend sleeps at his boyfriends house 3-4 nites a week
My friend is 19 and is dating a 22 year old, they are gay, and spends atleast 3-4 nites a week at his boyfriends parents house. His boyfriend is 22 living at home, unemployed, and was kicked out fo college. My friend comes from divorced parents and just moved in with his dad but he never stays at his dads house and his father is concerned. I just do not think it is healthy to spend that much time at his boyfriends parents house, I would feel very awkward and embarrassed waking up in the morning and having to see the guys parents. Do you think this is normal or healthy?
Please help concerned he will go down the no where path also!
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Expert
Teen expert
teen expert

01 Jan 0001

Hi there,

Whilst you may be worried about your friend you may find that he will distance himself from you if you try and persuade him to not spend time at his boyfriends. Many a friendship has been broken when people interfere in relationships - even with the very best of intentions.

What you have to respect as his friend is that he has made a choice to do what he is doing. The best way of letting him know about your concerns is to say that you are worried, but also make it clear that whatever his decision you are there for him as his friend. This way you make your feelings known but you don't run the risk of him distancing himself from you because he feels you don't approve.

Ultimately he has to take responsibility for his choices and as a friend the best thing you can do is be there.
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