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17 Jul 2008

Sharing bedroom

We have had to move recently to a smaller place. My son's now need to share a bedroom. They are 17 & 14.

The older one is giving me uphill about it saying he needs privacy etc - my response was that they are both boys and don't have anything the other one has not seen before!

I wanted to know if there are any thoughts re siblings sharing a bedroom and if it affects them negatively.


Answer 431 views
Teen expert
teen expert

01 Jan 0001

Hi Nick,

there are not problems with siblings sharing per se, but the situation you have is that they have never had to share before. When sibs have grown up together sharing it seems very natural to them and despite some territorial squabbles it usually works out okay.

There are a number of issues here which may be impacting on your sons. Firstly the circumstances surrounding why you had to move house and the emotional impact this has had on the boys. Is your elder son angry with you for having to move house? - it may not be your fault but nevertheless you will be in the firing line as a parent. Developmentally there is a huge divide between 14 and 17 years of age and your 17 year old is at a stage where his own space has become important to him, so having to suddenly share will be impacting on him. At this stage your 17 year old will be much more aware of himself emotionally, physically and sexually and privacy in regard to all of these things as an adolescent become important to the young person.

If you happen to be using a possible bedroom space as a study/computer room consider turning this into another bedroom so they can have their own space. At 14 your son will still be very much a boy in certain ways, your 17 year old is rapidly becoming a young adult. If it simply isnt possible and you dont have the space then you will need to speak with your eldest son about acknowledging his needs, but having to outline the realities of your situation.
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