Caveman sex

Conservative folks would have us believe that sexual intercourse has only one true purpose: procreation. The fact that sex has obviously evolved to be a pleasurable activity seems to have passed these dinosaurs by altogether, even in the face of overwhelming evidence that sex is actually a whole lot of fun! Perhaps they’re just not getting any?!

These mental Neanderthals often claim that in the animal world, sex is all business and no fun, suggesting that this should also apply to humans. But scientists have clearly refuted these allegations: animals engage in a staggering range of wild and wonderful sexual activities, so why shouldn’t we?

What about our ancient forebears, the early humans in the Stone Age, though? Surely for them sex was all about a bloke wrapped in bear pelt dragging a suitable female into a cave by her hair for a perfunctory shag to expand the gene pool and ensure the survival of the clan. Not at all! It turns out that our ancestors have enjoyed sex as a pleasurable act for literally much longer than anyone can remember – for tens of thousands of years!

Stone Age stone dildo

Scientists have recently re-assembled what they claim to be a 28 000-year old sex toy from siltstone fragments found in a cave near the southern German city of Ulm. The 8-inch long prehistoric tool they’ve pieced together certainly looks for all the world like a prehistoric dildo. They base their deduction on the size, shape and polished surface of the object.


What’s perhaps even more remarkable is that when the device was not being used as a sex aid, it may have provided a handy utensil for striking flints to light fires. A Stone Age girl’s best friend in more ways than one.

Prehistoric sexual sophistication

Researchers now believe that a variety of sexual practices, including group sex, transvestism, the use of sex toys and bondage may have been surprisingly widespread in many primitive societies. According to archaeologist Timothy Taylor, monogamy, for instance, only became widely established once former hunter-gatherers started settling down in permanent dwellings and began to take up agriculture.

Other than from ancient sex toys, evidence for such conclusions comes, for example, from cross-dressed skeletons. According to Taylor, the famously iconic Stone Age “Venus” figurines which have been found in many places should not necessarily be interpreted as depictions of fertile mother goddesses, but rather as early examples of pin-up girls and the equivalents or modern-day Playboy Playmates.

Neanderthal flings

Modern humans co-existed with Neanderthal’s for a considerable period of time until the latter became extinct about 30 000 years ago. The two groups might have spent a lot of time bashing each other’s primitive brains in, but recent DNA studies have shown that they also engaged in some interbreeding. It would appear that Wilma Flintstone had herself a bit of Neanderthal on the side while poor Fred was slaving away at the quarry.

In any case, science clearly indicates that humans have been having sex for fun for just as long as they’ve been having children

An interesting book on the subject:

The Prehistory of Sex: Four million years of human sexual culture by Timothy Taylor

(Andrew Luyt, Health24, updated May 2011)

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