Living an essensual life

Did you know that making love is the only endeavor which simultaneously engages and excites all six senses: sight, sound, smell, touch, taste and that sixth sense when you just know this is right or wrong for you?

We are born sensual beings. Studies have shown that babies that are touched and held develop far better and quicker than those who are left alone. Watch any child discover its world through its senses. It will touch and taste everything from sand to perfume.

When our sexuality starts to awaken, we are reprimanded for touching ourselves and whilst doing this in public is not always a good thing, we confuse the instruction and somewhere along the line we begin to believe that it is a bad thing – always. Most of us lose touch with our sensuality. We begin to operate using only one or two senses.

You may be a sight person. Blindfold yourself for half an hour and see how quickly the other senses heighten. Imagine living a life with all your senses heightened? Imagine discovering the power and joy of your own sexuality and then sharing that with your partner. We can learn to re-awaken our senses. Martha Beck said ‘Make your life a romance adventure and love will find you’.

Here are some tips on how to engage those senses:

Sight – Glance my way

  • Wear tantalising underwear, always. Throw out those stretched panties now!
  • Create a romantic ambience in your home and your office. Fill it with paintings that reflect your personality. Light candles when you eat, when you bath or in the garden.
  • Watch your favourite sensual movie or just your favourite scene.

Sound – Whisper to me

  • Play some soothing music. The best music for that massage shouldn’t have words. You don’t want your partner singing along. ‘I will survive!’ would be so inappropriate.
  • Three minutes of whispering sweet compliments, appreciation and love declarations into your lover’s ear, is more foreplay than most of us can handle. Do it often.
  • Why not try your hand at writing an erotic poem and reading it to your partner? If you can’t then what about reading your partner someone else’s.

Smell – Scent of a Woman

  • Always wear perfume. It will give you such joy. If you are a man, know that there is nothing better than a man who smells good enough to eat!
  • Light incense. Find one that doesn’t smell too sweet and doesn’t give you a headache.
  • Erotic aromatherapy oils such as Sandalwood, Ylang-Ylang, Rose and Jasmine can all add to that romantic mood. Use them in massage oils or burners. When he closes his eyes he should remember your smell – in a good way!

Taste – Lick me slowly

Touch – Feel me now

  • Soft fabrics like silk or fur will serve to heighten your sense of touch. Add a blindfold and watch the goose bumps.
  • Remember that touch helps to connect – touch yourself and your partner – often.
  • Indulge in that sensual massage. Learn how to give one and then teach your partner how to return the favour.

Sixth Sense – Are you there

  • Fine-tune that sense. You know when something feels right. You also know when a boundary is being crossed. Trust your instinct and say no.
  • Always have a safe word that your partner knows. When you say that word no matter what you are doing, stop. For a fulfilled sexual experience with yourself or your partner you need to trust.

Try to enhance one of your senses very day. Set aside special sensuality time when you focus on stimulating other senses rather than the genitals only. Be essensually you. (Health24, updated April 2011)

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