Occasionally, I think I sound like Jazmine Sullivan when I attempt to belt out a note while singing along to her music.
On some days, I look through my wardrobe to try to replicate an outfit of hers. I have always known I liked her, but I didn't quite understand the depth of this love until I had my phone on hand at 02:00, watching the Grammys to see if my girl would win.
The last time I had loved someone like this was probably 20 years ago in primary school when every girl wanted to be Beyoncé.
The point I am making is nowadays there is someone I like more than I like Beyoncé. I can feel bees sting me as I think it!
I love how Jazmine made and makes me feel whenever I listen to her now Grammy Award-winning album Heaux Tales.
As a woman in her thirties who has gone through heartbreak, is healing, struggling, sometimes crying and yet keeping on - I get her.
After 15 nominations at the 64th Grammy Awards, Jazmine finally won Best R&B Performance and Best R&B Album.
She said this when she went up on stage to address the star-studded crowd: "I wrote this project to deal with my shame and unforgiveness around the decisions I made in my twenties that weren't favourable.
"But it ended up being a safe space for black women to tell their stories, for us to learn from each other, laugh with each other and not be exploited at the same time."
As a Jazmine Sullivan fan, this is what her Grammy win made me think about:
If you have had the opportunity to listen to her, you will know her honesty and fragility are magnetic. I couldn't help but think of how afraid I have been to look vulnerable so that people don't think I am weak.
Who says you have to be strong anyway? Being vulnerable allows you to be your authentic self without feeling like you need to put on a façade and be something else.
Sometimes we wallow in misery and hog our own stories because of the fear of "what will people think or say" or we believe that we are alone and no one else will understand.
Here she is reminding us that being vulnerable is a superpower.
Life never really goes our way. We face disappointment often, but resilience determines how far you go and how it all ends for you. We may feel like things that were meant for us have missed us. And this may leave us drowning in self-pity and bitterness.
"I have always wanted to win a Grammy since I was a kid. After losing so many times, I felt like I gave up," she said in a backstage interview at the glitzy affair.
But her win is a reminder that you have to trust the timing when you genuinely want something, even when in doubt. And that you have to hold on to the belief and promise that your time will come.
This time around, the "underdog" won. That is why victory is so sweet.
AS YOU RISE, RAISE OTHERS UP
It was her moment. She had been waiting and praying for all these years, but Jazmine didn't make it about her alone. She took a moment to thank all the women who made the album what it became, supported her and walked the journey with her. I count myself as one of those women.
"What I pray is that u all celebrating me for these long-awaited wins feels like u [you are] celebrating ourselves. Your happiness for me is your happiness for what u [you] know can and will come to fruition for yourselves. That ur [your] wildest dreams and the desires of ur [your] heart are on their way. You admiring my strength and perseverance is u [you] recognizing all the things you've overcame and pushed thru [through] to get where YOU are. I hope I'm just a testimony of God's love and grace for us. I want these wins to be personal for YOU!! This Is the season for the underdog, the overlooked. It's time to WIN! Love you," she wrote on Instagram after winning.
A Jazmine Sullivan fan who just won at the Grammys too!
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