The 4 superpowers every woman needs

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Illustration. Photographed by Klaus Vedfelt
Illustration. Photographed by Klaus Vedfelt
Klaus Vedfelt
  • Fact: You can still be a superhero, even if you aren’t an orphan from the planet Krypton.
  • All you need is a trust fund, access to a military R&D company, and a curious bat fetish.
  • If that’s not an option, what about gaining superpowers through a radioactive spider bite? True, that may mean sacrificing Mad Men time to wait in science exhibitions for an arachnid attack.
  • But what’s more important: salivating over Doni Draper (waste of time) or transforming into a chic female version of Spider-Man (investment in your future)?
  • If you chose the latter, you’re in luck, dear super apprentice. Just reading this article shows you have a desire for betterment - a quality that forms an incredible foundation for what you’re about to learn.


Take a virtual highlighter out of your trusty utility belt and get ready to be superfied. Kapow!

1) Superpower - Accelerated healing

Mentor: Wolverine 

This mutant wouldn’t have razor-sharp claws if it weren’t for his accelerated healing. We hear that liposuction is a pain in the ass (geddit?!), but compare that to Wolverine’s post-op agony. He had indestructible metal-reinforced onto his skeleton. Most mutants would’ve died, but his superpower helped him survive. 

Real-life adaptation: How fantastic would accelerated healing be on a broken heart? Depressed one minute, healed the next. It’d even work on minor things - if you’re criticised at work, you will make a note to perform better next time and then move on. No sobbing in the toilets, no bitching about your boss, your bruised ego would be mended in no time.

Training:

  1. Firstly, allow yourself to feel whatever emotions come up; suppressing them will prolong the process;
  2. See the situation for what it is;
  3. If you were cheated on, don’t take it as evidence that all men are lying bastards.

It’s just that one guy wasn’t nice. That’s it. Understand this, and your sad heart will heal faster.

READ MORE | Ditch the negativity: Lessons from pessimists, and how to avoid being one 

2) Superpower - Super-breath

Mentor: Superman 

The adoptive son of Jonathan and Martha Kent can fly, run faster than a speeding bullet, and beat Wonder Woman in an arm wrestle. Superman also has the power of a super-breath. The red-undies-wearing alter-ego of Clark Kent can blow out freezing cold air and even create high-speed winds.

Real-life adaptation: This superpower works in situations where you need to cool a heated atmosphere. Family might be arguing; friends might be getting into a bitch slap - whatever the case, step in and help settle everyone down. 

Training: You need to be pretty calm and centred, making meditation and yoga a part of your life. Also, when people are in a row, listen equally to what each side is saying - without judgement.

READ MORE  | 10 Tips for coping with stress & anxiety as a business owner 

3) Superpower - Spider-sense

Mentor: Spider-Man 

Aside from Spidey’s ability to shoot webs from his wrists, his most impressive power is his spider sense. It alerts him to danger by causing a tingling feeling in his skull and also helps him dodge bullets. 

Real-life adaptation: Wouldn’t it be great to have an internal warning system? A gorgeous man approaches, alarms go off, and you save yourself from two years in a dysfunctional relationship. It’d also be convenient when you’re applying for a job or considering an overseas move. 

Training: How many times have you looked at a situation in hindsight and thought, “I knew that would happen!”. Learn to trust your instincts. Before you right. Some people sense the answer in their heart; others get it in their gut. If a sickly feeling comes on, do not proceed!

READ MORE | Coulda, shoulda, woulda: How to deal with regret and guilt by detoxing your emotions 

4) Superpower - strength

Mentor: Wonder Woman 

The Greek goddess Demeter blessed Wonder Woman with the gift of incredible strength. Forget about swinging a 10kg kettlebell; Wonder Woman can pull a third of the Earth’s weight. If she challenged Superman to an arm wrestle, he would win - but only just. Wonder Woman is the second strongest DC Comics character of all time (boys included). 

Real-life adaptation: You might not need that kind of physical strength for your daily activities, but imagine what life would be like if you possessed the emotional equivalent? If there’s something you’ve always wanted to do, you will do it. Start that dream business, skydive, tell someone you love them... you’d do it all because you could withstand any perceived fears or setbacks. 

Training: For those of us who don’t have a Greek goddess handy, we’re going to have to build strength ourselves. Start small. If you want to write a book, build your confidence by creating a blog. If you dream of being a fashion designer, start by selling at the local markets. Little steps will turn into giant ones.

Do you have a story to share with us? Tell us about it here.

Credit: aremediasyndication.co.au/ Magazine Features

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