Publications
- Relationship architect Shelly Lewin wrote about the unhappily single life and how to get rid of it.
- She shares three important tips for successful dating and relationships.
- If you are tired of not getting the desired results, it might be a sign you are not asking the right questions.
- Try asking yourself a new question: What about me has to change to exhibit something different in my life?
The dating scene can get so complicated that you ask yourself why you are still single.
There is nothing wrong with being single, but it is a different tale if being single isn't by choice.
You deserve to have all that your heart desires. Isn't that what living is about?
So are you ready to let go of the single tag?
If you feel like you are ready to date but do not know exactly where to start or where to look, what approach to use and possibly, what to change, don't stop reading.
READ MORE | The Pill has changed women's lives positively, but it has also caused a lot of controversy
Relationship architect Shelly Lewin wrote a blog about the unhappily single life and how to get rid of it.
"You are probably focusing on the wrong thing! Stop looking for a date; start looking for a connection and stop looking for a person, start looking for a relationship. Stop looking for love. Start looking for a meaningful existence."
Shelley says if connection, relationship and meaningful existence are what you are after, the question you should be asking is 'How can I go about inviting all that into my life?'
3 keys to successful dating and relationships
1. Start asking the right questions
We block our growth and development in any area when we hold an attitude of 'I know.'
If you are tired of not getting the desired results, it is a sign you are not asking the right questions. Try asking yourself a new question: What about me has to change to exhibit something different in my life?
You will know when you have found the correct answers to creating connection, passion and intimacy because your life will illustrate that you have.
2. Close the gap between the theories in your head and actions from the heart
Ideas about what to do to attract connection live in our heads. Concepts about how to co-create loving relationships exists in our minds. Beliefs about what makes a meaningful existence reside in the brain.
To have a connection, we need to become trustworthy, show kindness, exhibit compassionate behaviour, demonstrate integrity and respond respectfully.
To have a quality relationship, we need to become a quality partner.
Being honest with yourself and then allowing yourself to be vulnerable with another intensifies attraction and desire.
By being true to yourself and creating a life driven by your passions, you have a meaningful existence. When you are happy, love is drawn to you.
READ MORE | Why does love feel magical? It’s an evolutionary advantage
3. The 'why' needs to be big enough
When it comes to effecting change in our lives (regarding anything), there needs to be enough desire to endure the pain and effort of changing. If what you are currently doing is not working, it is time to do something different. And if that something different requires you to develop and improve in a way that pushes you out of your comfort zone, unless the 'why' is big enough, you won't find a way for the 'how'. All you will find are excuses.
You have to be desperate for something different to show up in your life or inspired to manifest your desires.
Shelley Lewin is the founder of The Relationship Architect Coaching and Consulting. She has been designing bespoke processes for intra-personal and inter-personal development since 2006.
