Publications
- Dating coach Leigh-Joy shares that going back to dating after a long 'hiatus' is tough initially.
- However, swapping singlehood with coupledom has many facets that can enrich each person's life if they are compassionate, courageous and vulnerable
- Here are five ways to get ready to start dating again.
The danger in staying single for a long time is that it might be so comfortable that you find it hard to date again. Just ask Venus Williams.
The tennis champ was the cover star of Glamour UK recently and she told the magazine, "I've had a single life for a long time, and I think it's really easy to get stuck in a single life and sometimes – at least for me – harder to get out." The tennis icon continued to say she is working on her dating life.
"That's probably something I'm working on now, and it makes you think about yourself and what you want and how to behave. It's definitely a lot of self-thought that goes into it."
READ MORE | 7 things you should have in your handbag on every first date
Dating coach Leigh-Joy explains that going back to dating after a long "hiatus" is tough initially. "Being single is a very simple life. A single person has complete autonomy over their time. When you are in a relationship, you must consider the other person and spend time with them - especially if quality time is their love language. This means time is taken away from things that you might have gotten used to doing for yourself."
There is a lot that comes into play. Leigh-Joy mentions that things like sexual compatibility can be tricky to navigate as the new person's energy, experience and expectations might differ from yours.
"It takes open and honest conversations about how you can both show up differently to create deepened compatibility."
READ MORE | A day in the life of a stay-at-home girlfriend: 'I get to do whatever I want'
5 ways to successfully get yourself ready to date again:
1. See a coach or counsellor to help you navigate your emotional world of grief, loss and any trauma you have experienced.
2. Have regular meditation and prayer sessions to help you centre yourself spiritually.
3. Take up a hobby that brings fun and joy back into your life and relaxes you mentally.
4. Not being afraid to try something new, change your haircut and colour. Present this new empowered you to the world of dating.
5. Develop your ability to ask and answer courageous questions. Talk about your fears (with someone close to you whom you trust) or journal to understand how you feel and think about dating again.
READ MORE | 'He took a call from another woman and I heard everything' - 5 lessons from my disaster date
"Emotionally available, heart-centred, spiritually grounded, and like-minded people find a way to create a life where they both thrive. Swapping singlehood with coupledom has many facets that can enrich each person's life if they are compassionate, courageous and vulnerable," says Leigh-Joy.
