- Relationship coach Dr Kristin Davin writes about six common couple struggles.
- Couples don't know how to talk about money, and financial issues are a leading cause of divorce.
- Communication and intimacy issues are very common problems in many relationships.
Relationships go through challenges that are not always easy to solve. For some couples, this causes a breakdown, and it becomes complex to pinpoint how they got there in the first place.
Moreover, what may make challenges in a relationship seem all-consuming, is looking at other 'happy' couples and assuming they are not without problems.
But relationship coach Dr Kristin Davin writes about common couple struggles.
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Here are 6 couple struggles according to her:
Couples will often say, "we can't communicate."
They actually do, but in negative and unproductive ways. This is a very common issue in relationships. While one is trying to connect and get issues resolved, the other partner will distance themselves either because they feel overwhelmed or flooded, are conflict-avoidant, or don't know what to say or do.
Sexual intimacy issues
This is a major issue in relationships that causes friction. There are many reasons for this. It could be that the needs and desires of one person differ from their partner's. One person could have experienced trauma in their life that contributes to challenges around sex that possibly haven't been discussed. They could be in a sexless marriage, which isn't necessarily bad unless it becomes a problem.
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A main issue around money is that most couples don't know how to talk about finances. They might have grown up differently. Financial issues are a leading cause of divorce. So, take the time to talk about money before you get married or move in together. But if that ship has sailed, you can still have that conversation. This begins with having an 'us' attitude.
High expectations of your partner
Are your expectations of the relationship lofty or realistic? Couples don't always talk about their expectations of their partner or of the relationship. And when these conversations go unchecked, people walk around angry or frustrated because their partner didn't meet their expectations - whatever they might be - and engage in mind reading, which never works.
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Not putting the relationship first
When did other people and things - like the phone and email become more important than the relationship? For many couples, this is the place they find themselves.
Remember there was a time - often in the beginning - when just being together was enough? No distractions. No outside world. Just two people getting to know one another.