Anonymous from Turffontein writes:
I’m a 24-year-old man and my
girlfriend doesn’t want me
to put my finger in her private part
because she says it’s too sensitive.
She also doesn’t want us to have
oral sex. We only have two or three
rounds a night then she says it’s
enough. What’s the problem?
Dr Eve answers:
Your girlfriend has a right to
refuse the kind of sex she
does not want, and thank you
for respecting this.
I well understand that the kind of
sex she allows feels limiting to you
and you are dissatisfied. It sounds
as if she is uncomfortable with her
own genitals. Perhaps she has never
explored her genitals alone.
She is responding to you like a
woman who does not enjoy being
sexual. Strike up a conversation
about sexuality with her, with no
criticism to her, but merely be
curious about her sexuality.