My husband is disabled after being involved in a car accident with his girlfriend – should I help take care of him?



I don’t know if should leave my cheating and abusive husband after his car accident. He got in an accident while with his side chick. I’m not against him seeing other people because we have been planning to get divorced for two years now. We have three children, and the divorce discussions took long because we were still thinking of ways to make our children’s lives as normal as possible once we split. Both our families don't know that we were planning to get divorced. His family thinks that I’m ‘still’ his wife, and now I have to visit him in hospital. He broke his spine, and doctors say he might be crippled for life. I feel sorry for him, but I feel like I’m putting up an act by performing wifely duties. The side chick survived, but has not bothered to visit him in hospital. He is now acting like a good husband after six years of marriage. Should I try and make things work?  



This is what we call ‘a blessing in disguise’. Now you'll be spending time with him because he is injured. You vowed to stay and to support him, for better or for worse right?


The choice is yours. You understand your marriage better than anyone. Whatever decision you take, no one will blame you. But I suggest he calls his girlfriend, who was with him, to come and help him.


You should have left him before the accident. Everything happens for a reason, however, for now he needs your support. Please give him all the support he needs.


Do you think it's the right time to divorce him? You were planning to divorce him, why didn't you divorce him then? Come on, you have played a role of a happy woman so continue playing that role.


Nthabiseng Madikgetla, a social worker, says, “I am sorry for the pain that you have experienced in the six years of your marriage. Marriage is about two individuals who made the decision to get married. As true as that maybe, we cannot ignore the role and influence that other people, such as children and family, have on the marriage. From the information that you have shared, it implies that for the past two years your marriage has been over and the only reason that has kept you together is the children. I recommend that before you make a decision, be honest with yourself. You need to make choices and live with the consequences of those choices. I also recommend that you seek professional help in order to confront those mixed feelings you are experiencing which are resulting in the inner conflict and confusion that you are going through right now. Good luck to you.”