“I slept with my co-worker and now everyone knows – should I resign”

 (PHOTO: GETTY IMAGES/GALLO IMAGES)
(PHOTO: GETTY IMAGES/GALLO IMAGES)

Question

I’m scared of going back to work I am a 30-year-old married mother of two beautiful girls. There were complications in my marriage after the birth of my second child and I found myself having an affair with a colleague.

The affair made me feel youthful, attractive and wanted. It was perfect until other colleagues caught us having sex during working hours. I was lucky that the incident happened the day before I went on leave. But then I heard that rumours are spreading in the office and that people are threatening to report the matter to management.

My time off is so stressful as I have been receiving calls from male colleagues that have never even greeted me, telling me that I should sleep with them or they will tell my husband. Now both my marriage and job are in trouble and I am living in total fear. I am even scared of going back to work. Should I resign and save my marriage or do what my colleagues want and save both my marriage and job? 

Expert advice

Mpumelelo Ncube, a social worker based in Johannesburg, says, “If you choose to remain in your workplace, you need to be aware of the policies governing workplace romance and be prepared to deal with the consequences should it get to the attention of your superiors. An incident of this magnitude should also not be hidden from your spouse and once it surfaces, it may destroy your marriage. Thus, it would be advisable to seek counselling with the aim of informing your spouse before he hears it from other people. In the same endeavour, also seek to revive your marriage to be a place where you share your feelings and thoughts.

Reader’s advice

VIVIAN MATHEBULA

You don’t have to confess anything to anyone. You can just deny it. If they don’t have evidence, blame the rumour on jealousy. In fact, you don’t owe your colleagues an explanation because you are both consenting adults.

TYHALITI SIVE

Just confess to your husband before he hears any of these rumours. The truth will set you free. We are human; no one is pefect as we all make mistakes. Learn from your mistake and stop having affairs at work.

BONGIWE TEMPERANCE

You must come clean, but only if your colleagues have evidence. Otherwise, deny everything and go back to work. There is no one sin that is bigger than other sins. And everyone has their skeletons somewhere.

CLAUDIA MAKHUBELA

Don’t resign or sleep with anyone else because you’ll be indebted to them. Be honest with your husband and ask for forgiveness. As for your colleagues, no one is perfect. But you should end the affair