I have a problem with my ex-boyfriend. My parents stopped me from dating him because they believe his parents are into witchcraft and they don’t want me to be involved in any of that.
I listened to my parents because I stay with them. After breaking it off with him, I started seeing another man and I fell pregnant with his child.
My ex recently reached out and told me he still loves me. Now he says he wants to kill himself after hearing about my new relationship. What can I do? CONCERNED EX
MOVE! EXPERT ADVICE
Lufuno Raphalalani, a social worker based in Norwood, Johannesburg says: “You need to figure out what it is you want and do what’s best for you. Do not compromise your happiness to please your parents. In any relationship, communication is fundamental. Sit down with your parents and express how you feel.
It’s your life and you make decisions regarding your life because your parents can’t live your life for you. Bear in mind dating is also for learning about yourself – your heart, your soul and the kind of partner that suits you. So, this is all about you, not your parents.
If your partner or ex-partner regularly threatens suicide, particularly whenever you’re not doing something they want you to do, this is a form of emotional abuse. Your partner is trying to manipulate you by playing on your feelings of love and fear for them.
When your partner makes such threats, put the choice to live or die where it belongs – on your partner. You can’t be responsible for another person’s actions. Giving in to threats does not make a relationship healthy.”
MOVE! READERS ADVISE
He is emotionally manipulative. Stay away from people who threaten to harm themselves if you don’t want to be in a relationship with them. Otherwise, instead of going back to him because of love, you’ll go back because of fear. Don’t go back to your ex, sisi.
LUCRECIA MASEGO SECHELE
It’s sad how you chose not to follow your heart and take advice from your parents to leave him because they said his family practice witchcraft. Still, my advice is to cut ties with him. It’s obvious you’re confused but it’s a little too late for that.
PAUL MUSA MHLABA
I think you still love your ex because if you did not, you wouldn’t care about him. Tell one of his relatives to find him suitable help. You should focus on the relationship between you and the other man. Move on.
Whatever your ex does is none of your business. Concentrate on you and your baby’s wellbeing and try to move on. If he can threaten you with suicide, he was never worth your time to begin with. That is witchcraft on its own.