No words will ever really express what the absence of my father caused in my life. Life was difficult and incomplete without him. I think things would have turned out differently for me if he stayed. Thankfully, my mother was by my side through thick and thin. She tried to be strong but I knew that she was deeply hurt. Still, she tried to fill the space that was left by my dad.
My mom told me my father left because he got a job in the other province. She trusted him and let him go. He promised that he would contact her and send money as soon as he was settled in the new job. But these were all lies. He forgot about us the minute he was out of the gate. A few years later, he married another woman and is still with her.
LOSING MY MOTHER
Shortly after my father started his new family, my mother died of a heartattack. I think her heart failure brought on by my father moving on with his life. While I mourned the loss of my mother, I kept on believing that life would get better. I went to stay with my grandmother.
She took good care of me but it wasn’t easy as I was still in school and we had to survive on only her pension money. I kept on having faith that one day I will finish school and support my grandmother. I passed my matric and I started to apply for jobs and learnerships. I got a job but it was short-lived. The manager wanted to sleep with me and I refused to do that so I was let go.
MY SUGAR DADDY
I met a married man who was older than me. I needed his financial support so I slept with him almost every day and he gave me money. Granny thought I was working and she was cheerful because of it.
This man promised to marry me and I believed him. One day, while we were together, his wife caught us. She poured a pot full of hot water on my face and body. I remember screaming and crying.
I ran to the neighbours for help and one of them got me to a hospital. I was there for a few days and wondered why my gran didn’t visit. Then I heard rumours that she was dead – someone had raped and killed her. I felt like committing suicide. Nothing in my life was making sense.
A NEW CHAPTER
Losing both parents is one of the worst things that can happen to anyone. There are things you need from a mother and a father. I felt that I didn’t get much of the guidance, care and love that I should have received from both of them. I was the one to tell myself that all of life’s challenges are meant to pass. Today I am 23 years old. Wherever my father is, I forgive him. I have to if I want to move on with my life.