All you need to know about anal sex and if you should try it

A couple in bed
A couple in bed

Anal sex used to be taboo, a forbidden fruit that was only tasted by people who were extremely sexually liberated or who had an unusual sexual appetite.

But society has become more open-minded and people are more willing to experiment and experience things that enhance sexual pleasure.


Sexologist, Dr Babalwa Funda kaMabhoza, explains that most people have become more receptive towards anal sex because, as with most experiences, it is no longer something that one needs to be ashamed of. Perhaps your partner is curious to experience it or your friend has done it and is raving about it.

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“When strangers do any kind of activity, it remains a practice, but when we get involved with our souls and hearts, it becomes a transformation and leads to a gradual change in our attitude,” says Babalwa. “However, with sexual attitudes, the transformation takes longer.

Secondly, education has also freed us. We now know that there are pleasure spots very close to the anus that both men and women have, and that sometimes the best way to access these pleasure spots is through the anus itself.”


Personal preferences aside, there are obvious benefits to anal sex. “Anal sex will give all the benefits that one will get from your normal sex, with an added advantage of easy orgasm for men mainly due to the fact that it is very close to the prostate. It also brings diversity, which is something that we all need to keep the fires burning,” Babalwa says.


Babalwa says one of the concerns around anal sex is cleanliness due to the location and other functions of the anus. It’s very crucial to keep it clean and healthy.

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“The elasticity and properties are not the same as that of a vagina – it is tighter which is one of the qualities that some might be attracted to, but might be painful,” says Babalwa. Make it painless: The anus is not a self-lubricating organ like the vagina, so it’s important to use store-bought lubricants.

Don’t continue with normal sex after anal sex. If you’re using a condom, change to a fresh one before proceeding.


If you want to try anal sex, but don’t know how to raise the subject with your partner, Babalwa says remember that, “It’s very important that we keep sex in our tongues and brains, as those are the most important tools we need. It’s important for partners to talk about their sex life and journey.” Ultimately, as with other sexual activities, it’s important to communicate and to be comfortable.


As a last word, Babalwa highlights:

- Couples might never know where their treasures are hidden. So keeping an open mind is also very important.

- Having agreed to experiment with anal sex, it helps to develop rules around how you will go about it.

- Introduction of anal sex toys is also not a bad idea. DIY or mutual masturbation is sometimes the best way to start.

- Remember to protect yourself against HIV/Aids by using a condom.