A bit of advice

HAYI BO! There was so much drama in the DA in the past weeks. Oops, I meant internal review process. The DA, according to Helen Zille, is the only opposition and only party that reflects and introspects. Basically, they are amazing, so amazing that they had three key people resign in one week. I won’t count Patricia de Lille and Lindiwe Mazibuko, that’s old news.

Shame, I was starting to feel sorry for Mymoney. Just imagine how hurt he must have felt to learn that he actually was not going to be treated differently from how the DA has treated other blacks in leadership positions.

Just when you think you’re different, then boom you’re reminded that you’re not, you’re not black excellence.

So, I asked myself, what actually went wrong? I mean the man was so dedicated to his job. I saw this when he delivered water buckets to the residents of a Hout Bay suburb during the Day Zero period.

I must emphasise suburb in case some of you start thinking I am talking about Imizamo Yethu, the informal settlement in Hout Bay. I knew then that the man really cared for white people from rich suburbs who really needed all the help there was to learn about survival tricks during the hard times that befell Cape Town. It showed that he was indeed a leader of a political party serving all South Africans and not neglecting the well-off beneficiaries of apartheid.

Moee-si was great, so what went wrong?

After listening carefully to the resignation speeches of Mmusi Maimane (oh, and Herman Mashaba of course), I read comments on social media and a few articles published on this story, and listened to a radio interview with Helen, and I came up with one possible explanation. That is: the DA, with all its policy documents for everything, neglected to write one crucial one for its black leaders — the dos and don’ts : DA membership for blacks 101.

Big mistake and extremely unfair!

As a caring member of society, a Rainbow Nation child, a child of reconciliation, I’m here to correct that. So, I wrote down a few basic principles, because no matter how great one can be at reflecting and self-introspection, having an outside view can help a great deal.

Top of the list is do not see colour. This might seem as a given but it is important to spell it out. It basically means we all belong to the human race and we need to stop this nonsense of black, white, yellow, pink, as it is a waste of time and does not move us forward.

The next principle is that affirmative action is a curse, it seeks to divide people and it must be stopped.

I mean, you heard when Athol Trollip resigned, he said it was going to be so hard for him as a white man to find a job, thanks to affirmative action. I felt so bad for Trollip, I hope he gets something soon. Shame.

Another important principle is not to disagree too quickly with Helen on her firm ideological position about the benefits of colonialism. All you do is help her reframe her sentence and say colonialism was beneficial to whites, that’s all. No need to create so much drama, fight with her and even get her dismissed.

Hello, this is Helen we are talking about, the soul of the DA. Your job as a DA leader is first of all to worship Helen and not question Helen.

You should do all that’s in your power to remain in God Helen’s good books. If you are considering disagreeing with her, please schedule tea time with her first, so that she can show you the way or you too will be sent to Harvard like Mazibuko or to start another new party like Aunty Patricia, or disappear like Mamphela Ramphele.

I have saved the best principle for last. Forget about apartheid. After all it was a minor misunderstanding between people who were obsessed with this thing of race.

We are all equal now, so let’s work together and build this country; this thing of blaming apartheid is just rubbish. The real problem now is the corruption — what Helen calls black privilege.

If you stick to the principles I have listed above, then trust me, you will be in her good books and by extension, the DA’s good books.

In a nutshell, to be a high-achieving, well-respected and enduring black leader of the DA, you have to think and act like a beneficiary of apartheid and colonialism.

• Stha Yeni does not have a bio, she is busy getting a life.

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