‘Hot dad' or "good dad"?


Are dads with babies “hotter” than moms with babies? This argument has been building up online after a family posted a short video of a new father bathing his baby to Facebook, drawing comments ranging from “What baby?” to “Dilf!” and then the opposite: “How about people focus on the real beauty of this video- the unfathomable love a father has for his child?”. There’s outrage over women finding the young dad attractive and plenty of drooling, too.

Adorable babies and their adorable dads

I’ve experienced a contrasting response in a similar way- not the “ooh, hot!” way, but I have often noted a response to a father holding a baby which is something like this:

Mom holds baby: “What an adorable baby!”

Dad holds baby”: “What a great dad! Look how good he is with babies!”

Likewise, if a dad takes the baby to the park, he’ll draw all sorts of compliments on his “skills” as a parent, even if he’s just standing around holding the kid.

Of course, the fact remains that men can be just as adept at holding babies as women, so what is really going on?

“Twitching ovaries” vs. hands-off dads

One theory is that there’s some unspoken rule that suggests that women are attracted to men that would make good fathers in order to ensure that their kids would be safe.

Another theory is that not all men can cope with holding babies- some are completely averse to it, so it’s seen as unusual for a man to take pleasure in holding an infant.
Neither of those concepts is particularly helpful.

Everyday sexism?

Men choose whether or not they want to hold babies, and there should be no social or cultural division when it comes to picking up a child. Women, too, operate beyond some invented primal urge that makes them want to seek a mate.

Then there’s sexuality. Males are expected to be more outspoken when it comes to sexuality and appreciation of women, but there remains this stilted idea that women should not express attraction for men. Also, dads are still "allowed" to appear sexual, but another outmoded view is that moms shouldn't be sensual.

How about we just enjoy the female or male form according to our preferences and leave the old-fashioned ideas where they belong?

Watch the video and read some of the comments to see the drama unfold…

Disclaimer: The views of columnists published on Parent24 are their own and therefore do not necessarily represent the views of Parent24.

What do you think? Is he a ‘hot dad’, or are those comments inappropriate?

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