The concept of scooping poop off my light green couch or stepping over puddles of pee in shopping malls has never filled me parental joy.
Nor has abandoning a half-full shopping trolley just to urgently go in search of a toilet in the middle of the monthly grocery shop.
I always promised myself that I would have a Zen approach. MY children would not potty train unless they really, really wanted to. And then I would be comfortable if they learned through peer pressure. Which, in principle, is not a bad idea? But, clearly, their peers aren’t always around. I conveniently blocked that bit out.
Allegedly potty training girls is meant to be SO much easier than boys. Well. Not in my house. Maybe it’s because there are twin girls.
Maybe it’s because if we’re in the garden or somewhere in a public place with a single blade of grass and our boy wants to pee he can just whip it out and go right ahead. He is still at the age where it qualifies as cute-ish and he can get away with it.
With girls it’s a whole different kettle of panties. Because they don’t just pull their pants down and sit like us adults. Oh no, it is off with the whole bang shoot, panty, pants, socks and shoes. If you manage to make it on time...
We have had to make a rule: if you want to visit the bathroom, come to Mom or Dad and whisper in our ear. Don’t make an announcement, as this results in 3 children fighting over a single toilet, much flushing and dunking of brand new toilet rolls and peeing on the floor in sheer anticipation. And the subsequent mopping and wiping and negotiating about choice of underwear and redressing of children. And fishing out of toothbrushes and toys. Whilst the supper burns on the stove.
Must admit I shudder at the ‘my-child-potty-trained-themselves’ brigade. We all know at least 4 of those people. You know, the Moms who tell you that their child came to them and said that they no longer want a nappy and Voila! that was it. No accidents, no nothing.
Bah! Anyway, when your child is old enough to tell you in a full sentence they don’t need a nappy they shouldn’t be in a nappy.
As it stands we are managing short trips to other houses without nappies with the twins. Soon however I will have to venture into the hell of shops without nappies and face the gauntlet of public toilets. Shopkeepers, brace yourselves, we are about to descend!
Are boys or girls easier to potty train?