I believe that at this later stage, there is little to nothing you can do as a parent to make or break your child. I further believe that the most actions remembered, most words recalled are those from the early stages.
There is nothing more powerful than your parent’s word! It is a priceless gift if it was a good word. My mother gave me a good education and she made sure that I am far ahead of what she got to achieve. That is helping me a lot in my career path and gave me a
great deal of knowledge.
However, for me to achieve what I have achieved and am striving to achieve more comes from her words.
She used to tell me how clever I was, how thankful she is to have such a talented child, she believed that there was nothing I could not do. In my teens, this carried no significance for me as nothing from her was wonderful except disagreeing with just about everything I wanted to do.
But when I reached adulthood, those statements came pouring in my head as I was about to make serious decisions about my life. They are like a mother away from my mother, at times when I feel like giving up I hear her caring voice saying ‘there is nothing you cannot do’ and I find a way to pass the stalemate.
On the flip side of the coin, my friend’s mother was a very vocal parent. She knew nothing on disciplining a child but to shout and point out the kid’s flaws. She used to tell my friend that she is nothing, just like her father.
When we used to be foolish as kids, go and play away from home missing out on meals, we would come back and she will hear nothing but ‘you are stupid but you play away with friends that will pass and leave you behind.’ As kids this did not affect us, we would just get to her room and giggle. As I recall, I was never an ‘A’ student but according to my mother I was - which made me behave like one.
My family relocated and we lost contact, I hear that my childhood friend dropped out of school, is working and has a child with a married man. Her life path may not be entirely as a result of her mother’s insults, but as I progress and hear my mother’s words I can’t help but wonder what she hears as she’s faced with fear and failure.
As parents, are we doing enough to give our children a gift with no price tag? Kind and encouraging words that will be remembered even when you are not around.
Is the fact that your life did not turn out the way you hoped affecting your ability to encourage what’s good in your child? Do you look at your child and see his or her father that failed you? Is your child suffering with your insults because of your past mistakes and misfortunes? Remember, your words can make or break your child!
What words do you hope your child remembers you saying?