"I constantly feel like a terrible parent, but I'm only human"


Funny guy, Nicholas Smal from the well known South African comedy duo, Derick Watts and The Sunday Blues is expecting his second son any day now. 

Read more: Talking about 'Dad bods' with Derick Watts and The Sunday Blues

We chatted to him about his views on spanking, tantrums, poop and vomit:

How do you handle awkward moments with your son in public?

It depends on the awkward moment. Thankfully, since he was small I have always said that all the sweets and toys in shops are not ours, and they belong to the shop.  So we never really have any issues with him performing for something he wants. 

Although when he plays up (because he doesn't want to leave the coin operated helicopter for example), I usually just go to my happy place, pick him up and swiftly exit pretending I am carrying a really loud bag of potatoes. 

Also, this one time I was standing in our bathroom where two mirrors meet at a right angle. This resulted in two reflections and he suddenly said, "Two daddy's!"  I was real impressed with this and made a big deal about how smart he was.  This was all great, until I was standing in a queue in Clicks with my son and Gareth (From DW) and he decided to loudly repeat, "Two Daddy's!". That was a pretty awkward moment.  We didn't know what to do, so we just paid for our "His & His" gowns and left.

What are your views on spanking your kids?

This is a tough one, because I don't disagree with it, but I also don't think it should be dealt out for anything.  You teach your kids not to smack other people, but then what do they think when we smack them for punishment? It also depends on the offence. There will always be minor attention seeking bad behaviour and I reckon a stern warning should come first. Then if it's repeated move the child into a time out.  If it's something that could endanger his existence, then first stern warning, and explain why its dangerous, and if it happens again there will be a smack-down. He is only 2 and a bit now, so we haven't had to go that route yet.

Breastfeeding in public: how would you respond to someone who criticized your wife if she were to breastfeed in public?

I don't understand how that even happens. What sort of a person is comfortable with actually expressing that view to another stranger? I'd probably just remain quiet, then very subtly follow him around until he went to the public toilet. Then I would walk up to him whilst he is peeing in the urinal and loudly say, "Gross man, how the hell can you do this in public? Whats wrong with you?" 

Read more: What would you do if you saw this?

Baby vomit and poo-poo: do you run or help clean the dirty work?

Been a while since the little baby vomit stage, but I dont get squirmish with the baby poo.  There was one time I nearly vomited though. That was a rough nappy change

How good of a parent do you think you are? 

I constantly feel like a terrible parent, because at the end of the day, you are a human. 

Have you ever caught yourself repeating something your parents used to say to you?

Not yet, but perhaps because I can't remember the things my parents said to me at 2.  I reckon it will come when they are teenagers, and I catch one putting firecrackers in dog crap, or setting the wooden dog kennel on fire with a can of deodorant and a lighter. I fear I may have just gotten a little too specific there. 

Has your son picked up on any of your bad habits?

He says "Kiff" But im ok with that. 

How will you one day go about explaining sex to your children?

Jeez I don't know. The way ads are going, by that stage he'd probably have gotten all he needs to know from a banner ad on the Nickelodean website. Or a yoghurt commercial. 

‘Mommy-brain’ is a real thing. What’s the strangest thing Nikki has done during or after pregnancy?

I think for my own safety I'm going to reply with, "Mommy-brain? What's that?" 

What’s the weirdest thing a stranger has ever said to you about parenting or your son?

This one time when he was very small, I was holding him and waiting for a coffee. This dude just went, "Blaah" and pulled a face at him. So I tuned him saying, "You can't just pull a face at a kid you don't know!?"  He replied saying, "Apparently it prevents them becoming gay” I replied saying, "Well I'm gay, what now?"  

He swiftly left.  

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