Going for a sibling?

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‘When are you having number 2?’ your Auntie asks, eyeing your tummy to see if it’s growing or still on its way down from your first pregnancy.

Deciding to have a second child is almost as momentous as deciding to have the first one. And everyone will have an opinion as to the perfect gap, and the damage you will do to your firstborn if you don’t have another.

What no-one will tell you is when you’re supposed to find time and space to try to conceive the second one with a toddler hanging on your leg or dismantling the washing machine.

Here are some Parent24 links that might help you decide – and cope – on this important question of making a sibling.
  • Don’t expect your child to care about your decision to try for another – and even when you’re pregnant, be sensitive to whether the child is responding. Time enough to slowly get used to the idea.
  • Remember that, just because you’re ready to fall pregnant, doesn’t mean it’s going to happen tomorrow. Even if you didn’t struggle the first time, you might need to wait and be patient. You might find your mental space is quite different as you don’t have the time or energy to be as obsessed about trying to conceive.                                                                             ‘Although I feel fulfilled with just one child, I don’t want to deprive my daughter of an all important sibling in this world. I do not want another child to make me happy, but rather to enhance our existing happiness,’ says Nikki Temkin.
  • Once you’re pregnant, be prepared to explain to your firstborn more than once. And, says Susan Newham, there’s always the chance the second one will be the model baby, right?
  • And don’t worry about whether number two will be loved, as our forum users confirm, there’s love enough to go round.

If you’re still wondering if having another is worth it, look at our Sweet Siblings gallery of brothers and sisters getting on like a house on fire.

What’s it like trying for number 2? Share your story.
 
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