Graves in my womb: Our journey to adoption

I remember the day I got an SMS from our social worker like it was yesterday. It was Sunday 2 January 2011. "Good afternoon Mr and Mrs Mataboge, the mother has given birth and is happy to go through with the adoption process.  Kindly give me a call so we can discuss in detail." 

Most people don’t work on a Sunday but the suspense was killing us. I phoned her immediately and she explained that the baby came early but that wasn’t all, it was twins and obviously they could not be separated. If we were interested we could drive down to Limpopo and meet the mother. She did not have to ask us twice, we were elated and decided right there and then that we were adopting these kids.

We went shopping for the babies and prepared for the journey to Limpopo. A few days later myself, hubby and his grandmother were on our merry way. I could tell she was not entirely convinced won/over by our choice but she remained supportive.

It rained heavily along the way and we had to make a few stops. We were so close to getting what we always hoped for, we had to make sure we arrived safely. 

We arrived at the lodge where the agency had booked our accommodation and there they were, together in a basket.  I cried tears of joy when I first laid eyes on them.  They looked so peaceful, delicate and innocent.  Our guard fell and love took over.  We held them in our arms and at that very second I was healed.  I was a mother, the one thing I had coveted with all my being and that has been so intangible until that day.  The graves in my womb that had accumulated with each miscarriage turned into immediate hope for the future.

I can honestly say it was love at first sight.  All our insecurities and uncertainties went out the window because these children needed us.  The first night I slept with my son, he slept on my chest and that’s the only place that would calm him from that day till today and my baby girl was the independent one, still is and has a smile that just lights up the room. 

They were exactly nine days old when we met them, we were meant to stay in Limpopo for two days but ended up staying for a week because it was the festive season and all magistrates in the area were on leave. It felt like forever and there was a whisper of fear that if we stayed in the area, the mother would change her mind and take back her children. I put aside my joy to help her through her loss. We had a short introduction conversation after which she stood up, wiped her tears and left.

I will teach them to love and appreciate her as I do and to know that giving them up for adoption was the most loving gift she could have ever given them. Her circumstances were dire at the time and she wanted better for them. My children’s adoption was beautiful; there was nothing sinister about it. It was an agreement between two struggling women and no one can understand until they have walked a mile in our shoes.

Look out for our book, Graves in my womb: Our journey to adoption. It will be available for download online and can also be ordered in print format from 01 April 2014. HANG IN THERE, HELP IS ON THE WAY!