Don’t stress about sex, Dad


We are into the second trimester! That may sound very ‘Star Trek’ except that this time around, Scotty we are boldly going where both man and woman have gone before.

The second child.

The new addition to the family is fast becoming a reality. Although we don’t want to know the sex of the baby, plans to renovate the study / spare room / place-where-we-throw-junk room are now afoot. We have the official all clear from the assessment centre regarding Number Two’s fetal scans so we are GO!

Oddly, and perhaps because Monique is still not really showing, we haven’t been too fazed by the impending arrival. This is possibly because work and our son Nicholas are the main focus right now. I have a feeling this will end pretty soon though.    

Giving advice

I was recently giving a talk to first time expectant parents with a focus on the new fathers and what we can expect from the new relationship and situation change. One of the questions thrown forward was ‘Do you ever get to have sex again?’ This is a pretty standard question and one that does worry a lot of new couples (predominantly the dads!).

There is definitely a period in the pregnancy that most couples experience as a ‘lull’ in marital functions for obvious reasons. My answer to the question though is immediate and without hesitation; just look around you, how many people do you know that have more than one child? 

The fact that women are still falling pregnant more than once indicates a strong message that sex does not leave the agenda and returns when the time is right.  But I think that last part is key here. Don’t be pushy and bide your time. Her clock is out of whack; her body is under going a huge transition and her body is feeling a little traumatised after the birth.

Don’t rush it

You may be ready to fire off a 21 gun salute but just remember that your partner is still getting used to, not only a new body, but also a number of changes in her world.

Sex will come back. It’s not going anywhere. If it was, the world as we know it would end (quite literally) and those of us writing columns for pregnancy publications would be out of a job.

Hang in there. It will all be okay soon. And like us you may find yourself back on the pregnancy bandwagon!

Read more by Richard Hardiman

Disclaimer: The views of columnists published on Parent24 are their own and therefore do not necessarily represent the views of Parent24.

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