Being divorced does not relieve you of the responsibility to teach your children the importance of special occasions.
It also offers you the chance to show them how to receive love and appreciation with grace.
You do not necessarily have to rely on your ex-spouse to initiate celebrations.
Here are some valuable tips:
1. Remember that you might also have a mother: set an example for your children and involve them in the way you celebrate grandma, even if she is no longer with you.
2. Ask family or friends to help your kids with the task of planning and purchasing for Mother’s Day.
3. Inspire and support your children with a yearly celebration of their father, on Father’s Day. Whatever his beliefs are about these special occasions, he is bound to learn something from your effort.
4. Ensure that your children are able to spend Mother’s Day with you and Father’s Day with their dad – it’s simply the right thing to do – good karma and all that…
5. Don’t wait until Mother’s Day and end up feeling isolated, alone and sorry for yourself if nothing magical happens. Make plans well in advance that you and your kids can look forward to.
6. Have a multi-generational Mother’s Day – make wonderful memories with great-grandma, grandma, mom and daughters all together in the same place.
7. Regard the day as a celebration of all your achievements as a mother and realise how important you are to your children. Reflect on your experiences and share tales that they were too young to remember. Children love to hear those stories and enjoy relating them to others.
8. Marital status has nothing to do with this special day. You deserve to be celebrated without feeling guilty and you don’t need an ex-spouse to validate that.
9. Get rid of your old expectations and create new rituals for your family to prepare and celebrate your motherhood. Don’t feel self-conscious about making a fuss over yourself, because you are teaching your children important life skills.
10. If you cannot be with your children on Mother’s Day, focus on happy memories – look at their pictures or videos of when they were little, take out the gifts or cards they made for you or wear the scarf or jewellery they gave you. Plan something fun you can do with them the next time you do see them. Make up a special day of your own when you can celebrate missed birthdays, Mother’s Day, Easter, Christmas etc.
11. Honour yourself! Realise that you are an amazing gift to your children and compliment yourself on having come this far.
*This article was originally published on FairDivorce.co.za.
Have a glorious Mother’s Day!
Are you a divorced mom? How do you plan around special occasions when you cannot see your children? Tell us by emailing to firstname.lastname@example.org and we could publish your letter. Do let us know if you'd like to stay anonymous.
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