"Only one of us is allowed to freak out at a time" and other priceless advice for couples parenting in their 30s and 40s

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"Nothing is 'his job' or 'her job'"
"Nothing is 'his job' or 'her job'"

When our 30s roll around, we'd like to think of ourselves as wiser, and emotionally equipped to handle demanding situations, parenting should be easier, right? 

Having children at a more mature age is quickly becoming the norm, and while parenting calls for a huge adjustment for any couple, regardless of age or how long they've been together, it seems that "transitioning from couplehood to parenthood" is slightly different after 30. 

One such parent took to Reddit's old-faithful online forum, r/Parenting asking for advice.

Labeling the adjustment an all out transition, the user requested advice from "couples who started their families in their 30s /early 40s," requesting others share what was "most challenging about transitioning from a couple without kids to a family unit?" 


Also see: "What is your biggest regret about how you raised your kids?": Parenting advice from moms and dads who've been there

Did you have your children after 30? What are your tips for couples making the adjustment? Share your advice with us and we could publish your email. If you want to be anonymous, let us know. 


"My hubby of 10 years and I (both 34) had our first baby 7 months ago. It has been quite the transition, and we are slowly getting the hang of it - but are wondering if other parents had a difficult time transitioning and what this looked like for them?" asked VivaciousVibes. 

The newbie parent highlighted that the struggle was particularly pronounced around "finding time/prioritizing our sexual relationship", "not being able to go out," and "managing feelings of resentment." 

As usual, the responses varied but consisted of the kind of advice therapy usually pays for. Here are some of the more practical tips, free of charge. 

"In the interest of preventing a divorce, please close the drawer after you get a spoon out"

"As for sex, we just fit it in anytime, anywhere we can"

For more advice on sex after baby, check out this local parenting podcast, The Great Equalizer. In Maintenance Night 2.0, hosts Sam Herbst and Charlene Armstrong talk with Intimacy and Relationship Coach, Tracy Ziman Jacobs AKA Totally Me Tracy about keeping the fire alive in a relationship after welcoming children. 

"Nothing is 'his job' or 'her job'

"Remember that you've been a team for longer than you've been parents" 

"Only one of us is allowed to freak out at a time"

Chat back:

Did you have your children after 30? What are your tips for couples making the adjustment? 

Share your advice with us and we could publish your email. If you want to be anonymous, let us know. 

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