'It’s not only money for maintenance that makes you a father': A dad shares his co-parenting tips

“Fathers” aren’t just biological parents. Very often, they are other important men in a child’s life: a grandfather, an uncle, even a teacher. One thing remains the same for all these men though – they all have a critical role to play as "dad" in children’s lives.
“Fathers” aren’t just biological parents. Very often, they are other important men in a child’s life: a grandfather, an uncle, even a teacher. One thing remains the same for all these men though – they all have a critical role to play as "dad" in children’s lives.

This dad wrote to us, sharing how he and his son bonded despite separation, and adding his tips to other parents going through a similar breakup.


After separation from my boy’s mom, I became more closer with my son who by then, was 3 years old.

He became firstly, my comforter and secondly, I wanted to support him too and show him that he deserved love from me, his father.

We went out together praying, playing, visiting and most of all, we talked a lot.

It made me understand his feelings about our breakup, school life and friends; most of all, I understood how he was reacting to his new setup in terms of latest partners and friends we have found as his parents.

It was very challenging, but I had to be there for him and re-position his mindset regarding the new life he had to face.

It’s not only money for maintenance that makes you a father, but also, spending time and showing love and having a listening ear for them. It is so important!

The best guidance comes from the father viz lessons on behavior, respect, importance of attending school, how to live with friends, puberty, money matters and more.

Read here: Being the father I always wanted

That is the role of the father who by nature is the head of the family.

Also, as fathers, we need to support the good efforts the mothers make in the upbringing of the child.

Talk about this with the child and avoid being subjective, which may confuse the child or result in revolting behavior. Be a diplomat!

The most important lessons that I have learned is that our kids needs their fathers; there are issues in their lives that are for a father figure, and the more we run away from it as the father, the more emotionally devastating it becomes for them.

Also see: WATCH: This short film about a dad doing his daughter's hair has us in (happy) tears

To my fellow men, I’m saying the best weapon to spite your ex, is to love your child as if it’s your last day on earth!

There’s is no worse label than to be declared as being an irresponsible father by your kids mom and her family.

That love is so beneficial and very much uplifting to your kids; in fact take it as the most righteous thing to do.

Trust me on this one, it works!

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