No marriage, no children

accreditation
Some years back a family member suggested to me that I should father a child out of wedlock - intentionally.

‘Every man must have a child,’ he said. ‘Time is not exactly on your side – you can’t wait for marriage.’

‘I’ll only have children if I get married,’ I said. ‘No marriage, no children.’ 
 
I have a lot of close friends and family who are wonderful single parents who are bringing up happy and well adjusted children. It’s not my intention to take anything away from them or others in a similar situation. What follows is my personal preference.
 
There’s always been something alluring to me about the traditional family, where a man and a woman marry and settle down to start a family. There’s something wonderful about two people contracting to stay and love each other - come what may. To me, this is the ideal environment to raise a child.
 
In my opinion parenting should be a shared experience. Only in a marriage do I feel that I will always be there for my partner and children - to share the sleepless nights and midnight baby feedings; helping change the diapers and bathing the children.

I want to be available to help with the kids’ homework and to have time to play them, not forgetting providing the needed discipline and protection from corrupting influences. By supporting and respecting their mother I hope I’ll teach my children respect for themselves and for others. I hope this is fatherhood.
 
I feel there are other advantages of raising a child in a marriage - no child maintenance pay disputes or custody battles. No hurt feelings because of broken promises.
 
And because of the cordial relationship that exists between the parents the child has easy access to both sets of grandparents and members of the extended family.
 
It is these and other benefits that make waiting for a permanent suitable marriage mate worthwhile.

Is Sipho old-fashioned? Is marriage still the ideal environment for raising children?
 
We live in a world where facts and fiction get blurred
In times of uncertainty you need journalism you can trust. For 14 free days, you can have access to a world of in-depth analyses, investigative journalism, top opinions and a range of features. Journalism strengthens democracy. Invest in the future today. Thereafter you will be billed R75 per month. You can cancel anytime and if you cancel within 14 days you won't be billed. 
Subscribe to News24
Voting Booth
Zama zama crackdown: What are your thoughts on West Village residents taking the law into their own hands?
Please select an option Oops! Something went wrong, please try again later.
Results
Authorities should bring in the army already
11% - 1533 votes
Illegal miners can't be scapegoated for all crime
48% - 6537 votes
What else did we expect without no proper policing
38% - 5181 votes
Vigilante groups are also part of the problem
4% - 497 votes
Vote
Rand - Dollar
16.20
+0.3%
Rand - Pound
19.66
+0.8%
Rand - Euro
16.62
+0.9%
Rand - Aus dollar
11.54
-0.0%
Rand - Yen
0.12
+0.6%
Gold
1,800.50
+0.6%
Silver
20.80
+2.4%
Palladium
2,224.00
-2.9%
Platinum
966.20
+0.5%
Brent Crude
99.60
+2.2%
Top 40
63,996
-1.0%
All Share
70,731
-0.8%
Resource 10
64,048
-2.8%
Industrial 25
86,577
-0.6%
Financial 15
16,059
+0.6%
All JSE data delayed by at least 15 minutes Iress logo
Editorial feedback and complaints

Contact the public editor with feedback for our journalists, complaints, queries or suggestions about articles on News24.

LEARN MORE