‘Dear son, it was an honour to hold you’

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The sense of loss and helplessness those who experience a miscarriage feel is hard to articulate. While some child-free people, and even some with kids, may wonder what the big deal is as it’s hard to think of an unborn baby as a person (unless you are carrying that baby), to the grieving parents it can hurt just as much as the loss of any loved one.

Tom Riles addresses those feelings in a heartfelt letter to his unborn son written on Life of Dad via HuffPo.

He speaks with tender love for this boy; of the name they’d chosen for him and the dreams they’d hoped to share with him. He turns this tragic loss into a human experience. This is not just a medical mishap for Tom, but the devastating arrest of a life full of promise. He weaves this child into the life of his family and shares him with us with a sense of tearful celebration.

Here are the first couple of sentences for you:

“Dear Son,
I held you on Friday night for the first and last time ever. It was one of the saddest, proudest, most heart-breaking, and beautiful moments of my life. It was an honor to hold you.
I'm proud of you, son. Even though you only made it halfway through the pregnancy, you have left a mark on our family that will last forever. Because of you, I love my wife more than ever. Because of you, I feel a stronger connection with my kids than ever. When I hug them, I feel your presence.”

Read the rest of Tom’s beautiful tribute to his unborn son here:

Dear Son, it was an honour to hold you

On the loss of a child

There are many ways of acknowledging the loss of a baby, a still born baby or a miscarried baby. It can be especially hard to explain to older siblings while you are grieving, but many parents manage to navigate these personal losses with great dignity.

If you have experienced a miscarriage or you know someone who has been through the experience, here are some resources for you:

Hope after miscarriage
What helped you most when you experienced a miscarriage?
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