'You have no idea how difficult it is to face society childless': Reader shares her 9-year struggle

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(fizkes/Getty Images)
(fizkes/Getty Images)

The struggle to conceive resonates with many of our readers, and here Tina Botha writes about her difficult road to parenthood via fertility treatment. 


We battled for 9 years to have our first child, and it is a battle I would never wish on anyone.

We started trying a couple of months into our marriage as we both were 26 and were keen to start a family.

Month after month nothing happened so we finally decided to find a decent gynaecologist who would be able to assist.

Little did we know that we had just entered a money-making circus ring where you would be treated like a dumb animal.

I cannot begin to tell you how often we would sit for hours in his waiting room (as if we had all the time in the world and no jobs to get back to) just to be finally shown into a minuscule scan room and promptly forgotten.

Then you would learn you were forgotten about when the next bewildered patient was also shoved into the same cubicle.

Why did we keep going back?

Because just the glimpse of a healthy egg that could be fertilised that month made all else fade into the background.

I went through so much Clomid that by the time I did fall pregnant my womb lining was so thin and damaged the fertilised egg could not properly attach and I had a miscarriage after about 8 weeks.

After a DNC, we decided enough was enough let's find someone better, and we were blessed to find a different specialist.

It was still a long process, and we were even sent for counselling but finally managed to carry our little girl to full term.

I will, however, never forget the hurt that all the comments, seemingly good advice, old wives tales and whispers behind hands had done.

Please do not point fingers at couples who are trying. You have no idea how difficult it is to face society childless every day. 

*Tina Botha's daughter is now 12 years old.

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