It’s all in their name

Kyd. Sage Moonblood. Destry. Pilot Inspektor, Audio Science1 and Kal-El. These are just a few of the fabulous celebrity baby names that have ambled onto our planet over the past few years.  Then there are the names whipped up by us lesser mortals such as 2la, Ford, Subaru, Kyndle, Vanellope and Pistol. 

Unlike Kerry I happen to think that these are brilliant. What better way to defeat the naming doldrums of Jane, Margaret, Anne and Lucy than by introducing something fresh and interesting to the mix?

Some of the names released by the Social Security list of 2013 in the United States2 include Londonn, Karsan, Prezlee, Ransom, Rebelle and Pemberley. South Africa’s recent legal name changes of April 20143 saw a Rogue-Alaric, Fortuner and Mistake enter the annals.  Yes, grown men and women changing their names from the mundane to the magnificent.  Isn’t that exactly what life is all about?


I don’t believe for one second that a child spends their life being mocked and teased because of their name. I’ve seen perfectly normal names like Adam and Caitlin transformed by naughty little minds into very rude and unpleasant nicknames. You tell me how you get from Tania to Tampon (a real example) and I’ll tell you that the name isn’t the issue.  Your child may instantly be singled out by the others in their class because they happen to have a name like Revolver, but from what I’ve seen, most of them are more impressed and jealous than filled with the desperate urge to mock and destroy.


Perhaps, as your offspring enter their teenage years and filter into the senior schools around the country, a new class of new pupils awash in teenage hormones could turn on their name. That has been known to happen, but I think that any child that has spent the first 14 years of their life being a Tuf or Xzaiden will simply look at them with weary disdain and move on.


Also, there is nothing wrong with having a short-form nickname as you totter though high school, a pit of nastiness that sees children eat each other alive no matter how thin, fat, pretty, hairy or badly named they may be, and then resuming your life as a Warrior or Charlemagne once you hit university and the corporate world. I would stop and pay attention to Logan in the boardroom, wouldn’t you?


Lettice, Parnell, Belevolence, Ezra, Reformation, Flie-Fornication, Thomasin and Frideswide. Think these are the result of another batch of celebrities gone mad? Hell, no. These are names used in the 1500-1700s4 by the Puritans, hardly the epitome of drug-crazed celebrity parent, giddy with the hormones of birth and desperate to be noticed.  Would you use any of those names now? What about calling your child Hercules or Agamemnon? Perfectly acceptable names at one time or another.


Want to name your child after Happiness or Moonshine? I say that you should be allowed to do it without the judgemental wittering of those that opted for the boring and the bland. Your child will never be mistaken for the seven other Georges (thanks Kate Middleton) or Michaels in their class; they will always be Vice, Kaptain, Hatch, Charger and Forever.  I find it quite beautiful that many people choose English words like Happy or Beautiful or Wealth. What a wonderful way to gift your child with the potential of being just those very things – happy, beautiful and wealthy.


Stop judging what is or is not a great name for a child, there is no right or wrong and if the child hates it, they can always change it when they get older.


Do you think that children won't be affected by having strange names?

DISCLAIMER: Remember, with great power comes great responsibility so if you are going to dish out a delicious name do your research. A quick poll of paediatricians and doctors who’ve been there at the moment of birth reveals parents failed to check what their lovely-sounding name meant. There are children called Syphilis, Candida and Chlamydia. No, people, no. Call your child anything you want, but never call them a venereal disease.

The views of columnists published on Parent24 are their own and therefore do not necessarily represent the views of Parent24.

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