One pearl of parenting wisdom that has consistently worked for me is the 'distraction method'.
It's not rocket science, all you do is distract the child from whatever it is that is bothering them, upsetting them or in some cases causing them to throw themselves on the floor of a busy stationary store and scream for a random box of paperclips.
Or whatever, just saying.
So one day, at the end of my tether, and in a random stroke of genius (if I say so myself) I started reciting a simple rhyme and my grumpy 2 year old stopped grumping* and listened intently.
*It's a real thing, I swear
This trick worked for several months, and the rhyme I found myself using most often was the always reliable 'This Little Piggy Went To Market'.
My daughter loved it. Simple and effective, right?
The tantrum ended with a tickle and a smile and we all went on with our day (most of the time, which is good enough for me).
The image of the little pigs going about their day was calming and cute, and sometimes we'd talk about what else the little pigs did.
I always felt sorry for the one who went without his roast beef, so I doctored the rhyme and added 'This little piggy had a bun', which my daughter always laughed at.
Happy memories right?
I recently learned that the little piggy who went to market wasn't going to browse fresh picked apples and come home with a basket of snacks for his adorable siblings.
The closest he's getting to apples is apple sauce.
In a recent post on Facebook group Remarkably Average Parents, a mom revealed the awful truth.
She describes how her husband "destroyed" her childhood by explaining to her that the little piggy who went to the market wasn't going shopping.
He's going to be sold.
She unpacked her husbands explanation in detail:
"This little piggy stayed home - he wasn’t fat enough to go to market.
This little piggy had roast beef - pigs eat slop which can include end cuts of meat.
This little piggy had none - because the pigs are greedy and don’t share well.
This little piggy went wee wee wee all the way home - he ran back to the pen."
I am not ok.
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